Sunday, December 31, 2006

New year __/\__ Resolutions..!

Everyone has the special regards over the first day of the year. All over the world, the new year celebrations are well planned to welcome the forthcoming year. People used to accustom with grand parties over night and these are all the sign of opening the year with warmth.

Some people used to take resolutions and they set a goal to achieve them , through out that year. Resolutions,if carried out successfully, not only act as short-term goals to success but also helps to improve life and overcoming those habits, which we do not like.

The unfortunate reality is that , for most people, the year goes by with little or no change. We do our jobs and live our lives, but our dreams don't come true. Some things do change, but life doesn't seem all that different. Not like we hoped..

The New Year is a good time to make resolutions. but what is the point of taking resolutions,if we can't keep them.We need to have the desire, the will power to execute the plan .We should plan the requirement a month before the new year eve. So that, We can strengthen the ways of executing them.

Take time to review the last year resolution and Measure the success with your actual requirement. This will help you to know, where you lack and what could be done further to fullfil it. Be clear with what you need and what you are going to achieve.Take only one resolution at a time. So that ,the focus can be core. Decide , what reward can be given to you after you achieve the target. This will boost up your desire whenever you slow down the process.

Sometimes its easy to forget the resolution after the New Year euphoria passes away, and one is tempted to postpone the resolution to the next year. Plan to remind yourself of it throughout the year. Write your resolution and stick it , in a place where you can see it often.

Enhance your strengths, act against your weakness and see what and how you can utilize the opportunities for the year and see, whether you have to prepare yourself against any threats.

Wish you all have a Happy and Prosperous New Year 2007..

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Indian woMEN......!

The Position of Women in India ,right from the ancient through medieval to the modern times has always attracted debate. Some scholars said that women enjoyed greater freedom in the days of yore, others hold that the opposite is true.women have always been fighting for equal recognition in society.

In India, the roles traditionally assigned for men and women are that of bread-winners and home-makers, respectively. but nowadays, women have to play their roles in both the ways. In the last decade, women’s approach towards the society was different. They realized that they were at the back and they jumped into the field of work like forming women’s liberation clubs, meets etc.

Did they achieved what they aimed??

Ofcourse, They did.Today women with their smartness, grace and elegance have conquered the whole world. They with their hard work and sincerity have excelled in each and every profession. Women are considered to be more honest, meticulous, and efficient and hence more and more companies prefer hiring women for better performance and result.

By the result of this, women got engaged, all most in all fields of work. As I told before, they are supposed to play their roles at home as homemakers as well as bread winners. The pressure is doubled now. As a women, I can appreciate the efforts and efficiency of women community who fought for the equal recognition in the society. At the same time, women have to spend more energy to meet out the Situation arises both at home and also at the work spot.

Indian men are same as the days of yore till this modern time. They never change their ideas and they got conditioned in such of way of doing work only at the office.They like to be more comfortable and they are also ready to title the women as the energetic, smarter than them, by doing things both at home and office.

We enjoy the freedom now and we tasted it too. But we are not aware about the pressure what we undergo. Thats why, we are capable of doing things. How far it goes like this..

Where we missed ……..????

Monday, December 18, 2006

Boost up your self esteem..!

Having good self-esteem is the ticket of making good choices about your mind and body. If you think you are important, you'll be less likely to follow the crowd. If you have good self-esteem, you know that you are smart enough to make your own decisions. You value your safety, your feelings, your health - your whole self! Good self-esteem helps you know that every part of you is worth caring for and protecting.

Following are six behaviors that increase self-esteem, enhance your self-confidence, and spur your motivation. You may recognize some of them as things you naturally do in your nteractions with other people.

First, greet others with a smile and look them directly in the eye. A smile and direct eye contact convey confidence born out of self-respect.

Second, always show real appreciation for a gift or complement. Don’t downplay or sidestep expressions of affection or honour from others. The ability to accept or receive is a universal mark of an individual with solid self-esteem.

Third, don’t brag. It’s almost a paradox that genuine modesty is actually part of the capacity to gracefully receive compliments. People who brag about their own exploits or demand special attention are simply trying to build themselves up in the eyes of others and that’s because they don’t perceive themselves as already worthy of respect.

Fourth, don’t make your problems the centerpiece of your conversation. Talk positively about your life and the progress you’re trying to make. Be aware of any negative thinking, and take notice of how often you complain. When you hear yourself criticize someone - and this includes self-criticism - find a way to be helpful instead of critical.

Fifth, respond to difficult times or depressing moments by increasing your level of productive activity. When your self-esteem is being challenged, don’t sit around and fall victim to ‘paralysis by analysis’.

Sixth, choose to see mistakes and rejections as opportunities to learn. View a failure as the conclusion of one performance, not the end of your entire career.

Self esteem test

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Get ! Set ! Go....

It's a well known fact that the biggest reason most people fail to achieve any real success in their life is....they never plan to. They want to. They dream about it and fantasize about it. They talk about success. Maybe they even read success books, listen to success tapes and attend success seminars.However, the sad fact is that unless a person has some incredible luck (like winning the lottery), their chances of succeeding without a plan are almost nil.

Some goal setting tips to keep in mind,which I read in an article.

Make goals meaningful. Goal setting for the sake of goal setting almost always ends in disappointment. Goal setting is simply a tool to use in achieving a favorable outcome — what some people call a “Dream.”

Use positive language and the present tense when setting a goal. It is better to say “I weigh a healthy, trim and fit 60 kgs” than “I want to lose 20 kgs.”

Always put your goals in writing. Every expert agrees that setting a goal without putting it in writing drastically reduces your chances of success.

Goal setting should take place in every area of your life, including Health, Relationships, Spiritual, Career and Financial.

Setting Life Goals will add dimension, excitement and texture to your life. Failure doesn’t always mean that you did something wrong in your goal setting or implementation. It may just mean that the time you allotted for success wasn’t adequate. A thorough review process should be undertaken before setting the goal again.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Talking about good & bad..Is that Good? or Bad?

Nobody sees things exactly the same way. One hundred people will see the same thing a hundred different ways, so there is no absolute way to determine what is bad or good. What is "good" to some people becomes "bad" for other people, depending on the circumstances. As time and situations change "good" may become "bad", and "bad" may become "good". So what is good? What is bad?

The law changes all the time. Something that used to be legal may become illegal; something illegal in one country may be legal in another country at the same time! So what is good and bad? What is legal and illegal? There is no clear answer.

We lead life with what we believe and things got conditioned by the society and the norms, rules and regulations. We lead a restricted life and For us, life is full of adjustments. So we are in need of moulding our personality to get adjusted with the people, we move. Anything , adjusted with the other, lose its originality. Someway, we prepare ourself fittest for the survival.

Cultures and its style fixes and decides good and bad things. Let us have a clear vision of good and bad things according to the circumstances what we face. And Let us try to understand the circumstances and the people whom we interact. So that We can have a better relationship.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006


Ego is a is a social need, it is a social by-product.Everybody is adding our ego, and everybody is trying to modify it in such a way that we don't become a problem to the society.
Ego always in search of food, that somebody should appreciate it. That's why we continuously ask for attention.We get the idea of who we are from others. Others shape our center.

One center we come with, which is given by existence itself. That is the self. And the other center, which is created by the society, is the ego. Through the ego the society is controlling us.

Without the screen of the ego, there are moments. One is the dreamless sleep.and the others are love and sex. In dreamless sleep the ego completely disappears. If you have two hours of deep dreamless sleep, in the morning you are new, fresh, alive. Everything seems to be new, because you are new. So make it a point that sleep is very valuable. don't miss it for any reason. if you follow a regular pattern of sleep the body will find it easier and the mind will find it easier to disappear.

In lovemaking, totally the ego disappears, because at the highest peak, at the highest climax of lovemaking, you are pure energy. The mind cannot function. With such joy, with such an outburst of energy, the mind simply stops.Thats why, both sleep and love fetches the joy , the bliss.In both experience , we are totally out of Ego.

Try to see your own ego. Just watch it. The more you watch, the more capable you will become.Suddenly one day, you simply see that it has dropped.

When you are mature through understanding, awareness, and you have felt totally that ego is the cause of all your misery, simply one day you see the dead leaf dropping. After dropping , you can be with the real center the soul, the self, the god, the truth.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Is intelligent - intellect the same?

Mind is not your intelligence

It may sound strange but this is a truth, that mind is not your intelligence. Mind can be intellectual, which is a very poor substitute for intelligence.

The intellect is absolutely bankrupt. It has nothing of its own, all is borrowed. And that´s the difference between intelligence and intellect. Intelligence has an eyesight of its own, a capacity to see into things, into problems. Intelligence is your born quality.

Intelligence is the growth of inner consciousness. It has nothing to do with knowledge.Intellect dissects, analyses. It is the instrument of science. Intelligence is a natural phenomenon just as breathing is, just as seeing is. It is your very being, your very nature. An intelligent man looks into life and whatsoever is there he is ready to see it. He has no barriers to his vision; his vision is transparent. An intelligent person has the ability to think, understand and has the ability to learn with the available resources provided to him.

What is your idea..


Thursday, November 30, 2006

Cure the tumour with humour..!

This moment, this space is beautiful, where you find
yourself.Nothing is missing except your laughter.If
you can laugh, you will fall in tune with the cosmic
energy. I teach you laughter. I am against all

Our five senses are not enough for ideal living. We
need to use our sixth sense: our sense of humour.
Humour isn't about merely telling jokes; it's the way
we view the world. We can be sincere about life
without taking it so seriously. We can laugh about
our mistakes and pain.

When you make fun of yourself, you disempower those
who would make fun of you and disarm possible confrontations.
Laughter dissolves tension, stress, anxiety, irritation,
anger, grief, and depression. After a hearty bout of
laughter, you will experience a sense of well-being..
Remember, a person without a sense of humour is like a car
without shock absorbers.

Develop your sense of humour and you will find you are
more productive, a better communicator..Everyone loves
someone who can make them laugh. The more you share your
sense of humour, the more friends you will have.A sense
of humour can help you accept the inevitable, rise to any
challenge, handle the unexpected with ease, and come out
of any difficulty smiling.

Laugh out louldly ..!

Every time my friend out on a cloudy day with a group of

friends,He is the first person to know when it starts to rain.
Do you know why? Because he's bald!

Monday, November 27, 2006

Living without conflict...! - jiddu Krishnamurti

Most of us are ridden by the desire for success, for
fame, or by the desire to be known; and it is an everlasting
struggle and effort. Struggle is apparently accepted by each
one as a necessity—in learning, in getting educated, in going
to the office, in climbing the ladder of success, in understanding
what is truth; everything has become a question of struggle,

Why do we struggle? What is the essence of struggle, what is
the essence ambition? Surely, conflict is the essence of ambition.
Conflict exists because there is contradiction. If there was no
contradiction, there would be no struggle.If there is no
contradiction, there need be no effort. And we are a mass of

Why does this contradiction exist? Why does desire tear in
different directions? Being torn in different directions, we say
to ourselves, ‘I must be without desire,’ or ‘I must control the
desire.’ Psychologically it is impossible to control desire; you
have to understand it, you have to unravel it, you have to go
to the full length, not in its expression, not in its fulfilment, but
understand the whole significance of desire which breeds
contradiction. Because it breeds contradiction, we resist desire,
we suppress desire, we say to ourselves, ‘We must be desireless’
—which is to destroy the whole immensity of life. For desire
is part of life, and merely to suppress it, deny it, control it, is
to shut off the immensity of life.

So, struggle exists because there is contradiction outwardly
and inwardly. Outwardly there is the attraction of power, position
or prestige, which is offered to a man who seeks status. There is
a living with function. We have to function as human beings,
we have to go to the office, we have to learn, we have to do things
—a function. But with that function goes the desire to be more than
a functionary, because you use that function as a means to
acquire power, position, prestige; and so, there is contradiction.

A man who uses function to achieve status can never be
efficient. And we need to be efficient in this world, because
function matters enormously.

Why is there this intense desire on the part of each one,
almost every one, to achieve fame? Why is there this desire?

why there is this incessant battle with yourself. Surely, for
most of us, we are aware at some time or other, consciously or
unconsciously, that there is a great emptiness, loneliness in us.
.And because we are so frightened of that loneliness, we run
away from it, so there is a contradiction. We try to escape from
that loneliness through knowledge, through success, through
money, through sex, through religion, through every form.
But the fact is that you are lonely—which you don't want to
face—and you are escaping from it, and so there is contradiction,
which breeds conflict.

We are concerned with conflict. A man who has no conflict is
not ambitious. And a man who is ambitious can never love;
he does not know what it means to love because he is concerned
with himself and with his own ideas and his own achievements.
A man who seeks fame—how can he love, how can he have
kindliness, generosity? And this sense of achievement can only
come about when there is an escape from the fact that you are
Do what you will, until you understand that extraordinary
loneliness, your gods, your knowledge, your power or your position
have no value, nor does virtue have any value.

So, this contradiction exists when there is an avoidance
of the fact—the fact that you are lonely, the fact that you
are angry, the fact that you are violent. You are violent,
you are angry, or you are ambitious—that is a fact. You
should not be angry, you should not be violent, or you
should not be ambitious—that is an idea, that is a non-fact.
Therefore ideals, which have no reality, no substance, breed
contradiction. The man who faces the fact of every day, of
every minute, without distortion—such a man has no conflict.
And to live without conflict demands tremendous energy.
that the man who has conflict has no energy; he is dissipating
energy. Not that the man who is ambitious has no energy;
he has the energy which comes about through resistance,
but that is destructive energy. There is that energy which
comes when there is no conflict, when you are facing the fact
every minute—I mean by ‘the fact’ the psychological fact,
what you are inwardly.

one has to understand the fact. We do not understand the fact
because consciousness is the result of influences. We cannot
see the fact because of the influence that has shaped thought,
the influence which is shaping the conscious mind as well as the
unconscious mind. Is it possible for the mind to be free of
influence? You understand, sir, influence Can you be aware
of every influence—be aware without choice, just be aware
of every influence that is going on around you? Is that possible?
Because, if you are free, if you can observe influence, your
mind is already sharpened and therefore capable of freeing
itself from influence. This is a complex subject; it needs attention,
it needs all your thought to find out, because you are the result
of influence. When you believe that you are the higher self,
and all the rest of it, when you say there is in you God, divinity,
the atman—all that is influence. When the communist does not
believe in God, he is also influenced.

Is it possible to be free of all influences? Otherwise you
cannot proceed to inquire into the question of freedom,
and be free. As I said, you can never be free of influence,
but you can always be watching every influence that you
meet. That means watching every minute what you are
doing, what you are thinking, what you are feeling; and
in that watching, not to allow any form of distortion,
self-opinion, evaluation to take place, which is the result
of influence.
All influence is evil, as authority is evil. There
is no good influence or bad influence, as all influence
shapes the mind, corrupts the mind. So, if one understands
the fact that every form of influence—it does not matter
whether it is good or bad—distorts, cripples, corrupts the
mind, if one understands that fact, sees that fact, then
one will be aware, totally, of every influence that impinges
on the mind. That is, in denying, in negation, there is the
emergence of the fact, of truth. When you deny, when you
say no, you do so either with a motive or without a motive.
Probably you have never said no. Because, most of us are
yes-sayers; we accept, we never say, no to anything without
a motive—which means that when you say no without a motive,
you are out of influence.

The word anger, the word ‘God”, the word ‘communist’, the
word ‘Congress’, the word ‘India’—we are slaves to these
words. And a mind that is a slave to a word cannot
see the fact. So, you begin to discover for yourself
how extraordinarily slavish thought is to a word. And you
will find, if you will go into it very deeply, that there
is no thought without a word. And you will find,if you go
still deeper, that where there is a thinker and a thought,
there is a contradiction, and every form of experience only
divides and strengthens the thinker and the thought as a
separate process.
So, it is only when this whole process
which I have from the beginning until now, is understood,
examined,watched, that the mind comes out of this social,
environmental,verbal structure as an uncorrupted, clear,
sane, rational mind.It is only then that the mind is no
longer influenced; it is completely empty. It is only
such a mind that can go beyond time, and beyond all space.
It is only then the immeasurable,the unknowable, can come
into being.

Courtesy : Video : you tube

Managing Internal Distractions

Tips and Articles from Meg Edwards

While coaching people I often hear about the
distractions that prevent them from getting done
what they say they want to get done. I hear them
complain about all the things that pull them off of
their focus.

Mel Levine, a Developmental Pediatrician defines
distraction as “ a departure from whatever current
need or plan a [person] is attending to.” He describes
five kinds of distractions: Visual, Auditory, Tactile,
Future-oriented and Social. I find it useful to identify
the type of distractions that may pull a person away
from their focus because once the tendency is identified,
a strategy can be developed to redirect oneself.

Visual: While on the phone you see a pile of paper that has
been sitting on your desk for awhile and wonder if there
is anything important in that stack that you need to do
something about. So you stop whatever you are doing
and start to browse through that pile.

Remedy: Do a mindsweep of everything that has your
attention in your office. Out of this mindsweep you may
see a project that needs to be added to your project list
called “Get Clean and Current in Office.” Determine what
your next action is to move on this project and write that
action on the appropriate list.

Auditory: You hear the “ding” on your email notifying you
that you have a new email. So you stop whatever you are
doing to see what that is and what you need to do about it.
In other words, you treat email like a ringing phone.

Remedy: Unless you have a job which requires that you
be immediately responsive to every email that comes in,
turn your email notification system off. Designate specific
times during the day when you will focus on email.

Tactile: Have you ever been working on something and before
you knew it you had something else in your hand that grabbed
your attention and you don’t remember picking it up?

Remedy: Only have reference material, equipment, decoration,
supplies or whatever you are currently working on top of your
desk. Everything else should be filed or put away.

Future Oriented: You are responding to an email which
reminds you of a project that is due ten days from now.
You start thinking about all the moving parts of that
project and before you know it you are working on that
project and you never finished writing the email.

Remedy: As part of your weekly review make sure you
look ahead to the due dates for every project and clarify
all the pieces that need to be done to ensure the projects
are moving in a timely fashion. Add any due dates to any
pieces of the projects so you can know when you need to
be working each piece.

Social: This interruption happens when you are working
at your desk and you see someone you haven’t connected
with in a while so you find yourself following them to the
coffee room to have a chat and suddenly you realize you
have spent 20 minutes talking to them rather than
working on the presentation that is due tomorrow.

Remedy: When you want to connect with someone, employ
the “two minute rule”. Let the person know that you want
to connect with them and can the two of you look at a time
that will work for both of you to do that. This will enable
you to relax because you will know that the opportunity
to be with this person is built into your schedule.

Sender: T.Prabu

Thursday, November 23, 2006

To be alone is one of most beautiful experiment..

You are not disturbed any more by the others; you donot
force yourselves any more yourself to do something which
one awaits from you. Only, you can do what you want to do,
you can feel what you want to feel.

All which you need is to detach you from your mental. Your
mental is not your mental; your mental is only one representative
of the crowd to which you belong. It is not with your service,
it is with the service of crowd. Crowd put, in your mental, a
detective who continues to force you, even if you are alone,
to comprise you according to rules'. All the secrecy is to be pilot
the mental one; allow your nature to be and say clearly to the
mental one: “You are not with me, I came in the world without
you, you were given to me later by education, for the example.

You are something from abroad; you do not form part of my
nature; at least when I am alone, I only leaves.” You must learn
how to say to the mental one: “The farm!” and to allow your
nature full freedom.

Once you learned that the mental one can be put on side and that
you can be really alone, you will be immensely astonished by the
beauties, innocence, the perspicacity which you have. Because
with the mental one you are not really alone, all these voices,
those of your parents, those of the teachers, the priests and the
politicians are recorded in the mental one and the mental one
simply continues to repeat them. It is a superb strategy played
by the company against the individual.

Courtesy : Osho - Extract of: From Death to Deathlessness


It is certainly true that in many countries, modern culture
emphasises the individual person, and not the group or
family. There is often pressure to be 'self-contained'.
Many more young people live alone, often away from family
or friends because of work or college. The pressures of life
may not leave enough time to make good relationships.

Modern culture, in TV, films and books, tells us that the

only meaningful relationship is a sexual or romantic one.
It isn't true, but we believe it.

If we do not have such a relationship, we feel a failure. Or

we try to find meaning in these relationships, but often fail.
And if these relationships are private and closed, leaving no
room for other friendships, then when they end, we have no
'real', 'ordinary' friends to turn to.

"Loneliness is universal. I get a lot of patients, especially

those who haven't married, who have a strong feeling of not
being part of 'family', of not having connected. They feel
unfulfilled, that they don't belong, and are not caught up in
what is thought 'normal'."-- Dr.Chris Andrew.

Surprisingly, it is not only the quiet, shy, people, who may

feel loneliness. It can also be the sort of person who is the
'life and soul of the party' - always joking, laughing, apparently
out-going, yet afraid to really connect with others - holding
other people away at arm's length. They may seem to have
lots of friends, but inside they are hurting. These people have
often been damaged as children by sexual or emotional abuse.

Here are some ideas to think about:

Remember, you are not the only one to feel this way - perhaps
25% of the people around you feel the same. So make the first

Do you have an interest or hobby? Find a group or society
with this interest and join it.

Don't look for the answer to loneliness in a sexual relationship.

Many people, especially girls, move from one quick sexual

relationship to another, desperate to find closeness and
meaning. The sort of people they find usually only want
the sex part of the relationship, and do not offer more in

Even in a stable long-term relationship or marriage,
you should still not expect your partner to meet all of
your emotional needs. They should certainly meet many
of your needs, because your partner should be your best
friend. But you should also have a network of good
relationships with other friends, giving and taking help
and support.

It can be easy to live out our lives through the imaginary
relationships in films, TV, books, or even arm-length
relationships on the Internet. These aren't real! TV and
film characters do not act and talk like real people! It is
an imaginary world, very different from the real one. Live
in the real world!

To be wanted and needed, is a big answer to loneliness.
Is there any way you can help other people? Can you
volunteer to do something? Hospital visiting, visiting old
people, assist an advice centre, an inner city help program
- the list is endless. Or just learn to be a listening person
who can understand how other people feel, and help them.
In helping other people, we find friends and lose loneliness!

Don't wait for someone to phone (or write/email) you -

you contact them. And if they seem too busy, it doesn't mean
they are rejecting you. Try another time!

Don't drink too much - it may take away feelings of
loneliness for a few hours, but does not answer the real
problem. You may feel separated from other people
because of wrong things that others have done or said
to you, or things that you have done or said to others.
These things build a wall between us. Look for a way to
become friends again. Don't be too proud to say sorry,
even if you feel it was mostly the other person's fault!

if you have been hurt as a child through sexual or

emotional abuse, or difficult relationships with parents,
don't bury those feelings. It is possible to find victory over
these hurts.

We were created to be social humans. We need people.
"It is not good for man to be alone" is a key statement from
one of the earliest surviving historical writings. Yet it goes
right to the centre of our human need today!

Our relationships with each other are easily damaged
and spoilt, because of our own wrong actions and selfish
behaviour, which so often we cannot even see. But beyond
these relationships, there is another deeper relationship
which has been damaged. It is this - that God - the maker
of the whole world - is a loving person, who desperately
wants a relationship with you! It may be unbelievable, but
it is true. God is not a power, a force, a feeling, or a distant
angry ruler - He is a person, who wants to be a 'friend who
stays closer than a brother'. He is the ultimate Family, the
real Lover, the special Friend. What is more, He can give us
a new power inside, to handle life, relationships and problems..

Courtesy : Online counselling

Monday, November 20, 2006

Coping with Anger..(?)(!)

Anger is a negative Vritti or whirlpool in the
mind-lake.It is born of ignorance. It is a strong
emotion, excited by a real or fancied injury and
involving a desire for retaliation.

Anger is a positive and constructive aid to survival.
It provides us with boosts of both physical and emotional
energy when we are in need of protection and healing.
Not only can anger help us to cope with threat, hurt,
frustration and violation but if it is channelled carefully
it can help us to find courage to recognise and assert our
own rights, make changes in our lives, and be creative.

However, many of us find it difficult to express our
anger openly,directly and assertively. We fear our anger
will get out of control and take over our minds, that we
will lose the respect of others or that we might hurt
someone. We tell ourselves that anger is best kept hidden.
Consequently we may end up harming ourselves.

Sometimes we can be angry without recognising that we are
angry. Sometimes we do not recognise fully what it is we
are angry about. Sometimes we can be filled with a consuming
anger we do not know how to cope with. Sometimes we may forget
that any efforts we make to cope and survive with our anger and
pain are worthy of respect and this can make us feel more angry.

Immediate strategies for coping with angry feelings -
• Breathing deeply.Try yoga or some deep breathing techniques.
• Dancing, fast walking, running or aerobics, etc, will help to calm you down.
• Screw your face up a few times and feel the muscles relax.
• You could also try screaming and shouting abuse at an empty chair.
• Focus intently on a work activity or household chore.

Long term strategies for coping with angry feelings -
Use positive self-talk - • I cannot change the past but I can
change how I feel about it. • My self-esteem can survive without
the approval of everyone.

If you are angry with someone, if possible confront them.
Try to start positively. Be direct. Acknowledge your responsibility.
Avoid putting yourself down. Talk to someone else you think will
listen. If there is no-one to talk to, even shouting at an empty
space can be calming and healing.

Some techniques to come out of anger..

Take time out
Lie down and listen to some pleasant relaxing music.
Perhaps go for a walk to clam yourself.
Concentrating on your breathing or a specific word or mantra
will take your mind off obsessive thoughts and into stillness.
Writing down your feelings in a journal, letter or poem can be

an effective way of expressing and discharging feelings.



Saturday, November 18, 2006

A thought of Chaitanya...!!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Way to Permenant Joy

Attaining permenant joy or happiness remains the biggest

challenge for humans. For centuries we are following many
sets of rules- we call it philosophy,science, cults, religions,
race..whatever ! That have not helped overcome the problem.

So What is the way out?It's simple.

Live every second of your life in Bliss.It's easier said than done.
so here's how to do it in practicle life :

Smile !

Make This moment of life happy. Then see that next moment
will be similar. You can connect this happy state of mind with
your breating. Everytime you breath in, believe in mind that you
are taking in the Happiness inside. Then ensure it for the next
moment.. then next.GO on.

life is just a string of moments. Make as many of them happy as you
can. That is the happy life.You may not succed in it at one go. You
may have taken tens of thousands of breaths in your life without
happiness. body won't change that all of a sudden. but keep on
practising, for as many time as possible, for as long at a strech as possible.

Courtesy : Chaitanya

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Are we responsible ??..

We are rapidly gaining a much better understanding
of the brain and how it operates. We are beginning to
see how our thought processes and actions are shaped
by activity in the brain.

This new knowledge is exciting, but presents us with
many challenges. And tools and therapies for use in medicine
or research could equally well be applied socially for other
uses. How are we going to manage these ethical quandaries?

If a lot of our behaviour is outside our conscious
control (or feels as if it is), can we always be held
responsible for our actions?

Our legal system (and many other aspects of society) are
based on the idea that we are ‘free agents’, able to decide
for ourselves how we behave.

But how much freedom do we actually have to control our
behaviour? Some brain responses are not under conscious
control. Sometimes, even when we think we are making a
conscious decision, our brain has already made an
unconscious one. Or our conscious and unconscious
wrestle for control of our actions.

Our genetic inheritance will affect our brain and behaviour,
as will the environment we experience in the womb, and the
way we are brought up. By the time we are adults, our scope
to behave in any way we choose is significantly reduced.
On the other hand, genetic or neuroscientific determinism
– that we are ‘born’ or ‘hard-wired’ to behave in a particular
way – can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The prefrontal
cortex, the ‘thinking brain’, still has plenty of scope to shape
our actions.

Legally, courts are more lenient if a defendant can prove
‘diminished responsibility’. Sentencing will also depend
to some extent on an assessment of a defendant’s mental
health. So far, there has been little evidence that judges are
willing to consider biological susceptibilities as a justifiable
defence. As we discover more about the links between brain
and behaviour, it is likely that this will become a more
common issue.

Courtesy : Big Picture of thinking - issue 4 september 2004

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Personal power....

To solve problems effectively you must do the following.

1. Manage your emotional state-avoid “overwhelm.”
Learn to associate massive pain to the state of being
overwhelmed; associate pleasure to solving the problem.

2. Write the problem on paper. Spend no more than 20%
of the time defining it-80% of the time should be spent
on the solution.

3. Come up with your best plan for handling the challenge
and act upon it as quickly as possible.

4. Notice what you’re getting from your current actions.

5. If what you’re doing isn’t working, change your approach.
Develop more flexibility by asking yourself, What would
happen if…

6. Find role models and get their answers.

7. Change your beliefs about what problems are-call them
challenges-they are opportunities for you to grow.

Use the five problem-solving questions to put yourself
in a positive, resourceful state for finding effective solutions.


1. What is great about this problem?
2. What is not perfect yet?
3. What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
4. What am I willing to no longer do in order to make it
the way I want it?
5. How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to
make it the way I want it?

courtesy : Personal power - Anthony Robbins

How to Find Your Child's Genius..!

To discover your children's genius you must first
Find out how they like to learn and why they will
Learn something.

For example, I did not learn to swim because I
did not want to learn to swim. I learned to swim
because I wanted to surf. If not for surfing, I had
no interest in learning to swim, and forcing me to
learn only made me hate swimming even more.
Instead of starting me in the shallow end with all
the kids, I was much happier jumping in the deep
end and learning to survive. The same is true with
learning to read financial statements. I did not learn
accounting because I wanted to be an accountant. I
learned basic accounting because I wanted to be rich.
If you think my swim strokes are ugly, you should see
My accounting.

Instead of forcing me to conform and follow the
traditional ways of learning, this is the way of
encouragement to "Jump in the deep end and swim
for my life."

Everyone has their own learning style. People learn
in more traditional ways. Many people go to school,
enjoy the classroom, and enjoy following a prearranged


Many like knowing that at the end of the curriculum
they will get a reward. They like the idea of knowing
that they will get a passing grade or a degree for their
efforts. As I said, they like the certainty of the reward
at the end of the program. Just as my friend Willy did
well at swimming because he loved swimming, many
people do well in school because they like school.

A key to people's success in life is finding out how they
learn best and ensuring that they are in an environment
that allows them to continue learning in the ways they
learn best. The problem is, finding out exactly how we
learn and what our natural gifts are is often a hit-and
miss process. Many people never find out their gifts. Once
they leave school, they get jobs, and then they cannot
continue the personal discovery process owing to financial
or family reasons.

Courtesy: Rich kid, smart kid - Robert T. Kiyosaki with
Sharon L. Lechter, C.P.A

Friday, November 10, 2006

Empathy - feel someone within you..!

Empathy is about listening and understanding
feelings. It is a ability to communicate and lead
by understanding Other’s thoughts, views and

No two people share the same experiences, thoughts

or emotions. In order to truly understand the other,
we need to understand his/her experiences, thoughts
emotions as well as words and outward Behaviours.

Sharpening our empathy skills will lead to a better

personal and work Relationships, higher credibility,
more clarity in our communication.

When empathy is highly developed, human beings

become more human. With the ability of empathize,
we humans can show greater sensitivity Towards others.
Empathy helps us to understand from a position within
Ourselves. It heightens our sense of acceptance as a person.

True empathy is the ability to develop trust and

openness with others. Empathy is more than
understanding. We can only understand when we
Listen - not only to the words, but to the feelings

being expressed. Empathy Means that we understand
not only the feeling being expressed. But the Ideas and
the feelings go with the words.

When we are empathetic, we are sensitive to the

feelings being shown. Tune In to others and try to
understand their needs and wants. When someone
asks For help, try to be sensitive to what is not being
said as well as to the person’s actual words.

So Try to be empathetic and taste the natural glow

of others within you.



Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Why Men need space...??

The love between the Men and Women was
magical. They delighted in being together, doing things
together, and sharing together. Though from different
worlds, they reveled in their differences. They spent months
learning about each other, exploring and appreciating their
different needs, preferences, and behavior patterns. For years
they lived together in love and harmony.

Then they decided to fly to Earth. In the beginning everything
was wonderful and beautiful. But the effects of Earth's atmosphere
took hold, and one morning everyone woke up with a peculiar
kind of amnesiaselective amnesia!

Both the Martians and Venusians forgot that they were from
different planets and were supposed to be different. In one
morning everything they had learned about their differences
was erased from their memory. And since that day men and
women have been in conflict.

Men are like rubber bands. When they pull away,
they can stretch only so far before they come springing
back. A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to
understand the male intimacy cycle.

This cycle involves getting close, pulling away,
and then getting close again. Most women are surprised
to realize that even when a man loves a woman,
periodically he needs to pull away before he can get
closer. Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away.
It is not a decision or choice. It just happens.
It is neither his fault nor her fault. It is a natural cycle.

Women misinterpret a man's pulling away because
generally a woman pulls away for different reasons.
She pulls back when she doesn't trust him to understand
her feelings, when she has been hurt and is afraid of being
hurt again, or when he has done something wrong and
disappointed her.

Certainly a man may pull away for the same reasons,
but he will also pull away even if she has done nothing
wrong. He may love and trust her; and then suddenly he
begins to pull away. Like a stretched rubber band, he will
distance himself and then come back all on his own.

A man pulls away to fulfill his need for independence or
autonomy. When he has fully stretched away, then instantly
he will come springing back. When he has fully separated,
then suddenly he will feel his need for love and intimacy
again. Automatically he will he more motivated to give his
love and receive the love he needs. When a man springs
back, he picks up the relationship at whatever degree of
intimacy it was when he stretched away. He doesn't feel
any need for a period of getting reacquainted again.

Courtesy : Men are from Mars Women are from Venus - John Gray

Saturday, November 04, 2006

A Question to Osho..

Question : I’m scared of aloneness. I’m not in a relationship right now, a fact which I like and simultaneously I don’t like.

That time when you will be able to be alone will also come,
but that time has not come yet. So like or dislike it, you will have
to be with somebody.

Aloneness is possible only when one is really mature, and nothing
can be done for that maturity immediately. Maturity comes by and
by, when you live with people and you suffer and you enjoy also.

Through so many experiences of relationship, one day it dawns in
one’s consciousness that one is enough alone, that there is no need
to depend on others, that aloneness is not a kind of negative space
but a deep fulfillment, that aloneness is beautiful that there is

benediction in it. But that comes only after you have passed
through many hells and purgatories...then only. You cannot
jump to heaven; the way to heaven goes through hell. You have
to pass through hell; that is the school — it trains you for heaven.
So don’t be in a hurry; otherwise you will be in misery.It is better
to be related and miserable than to be miserable and alone.
That is the only choice right now: miserable alone or miserable

But when you are miserable together it is better; at least you can

throw the responsibility on the other!When you are absolutely alone,
where to throw the responsibility? You carry the whole burden...not
even somebody to share it! When you are miserable with somebody
you can find causes, explanations why the misery is there. When you
are alone there is no reason and no cause, so the mind feels very
very noccupied and the misery looks so on-going, eternal.Right
now choose that misery, the other kind, that people call relationship.
It is a necessary evil to pass through. And one day you will be
able to pass beyond it but right now the moment has not come.

When it has come you will not feel misery at all in being alone,

you will feel on top of the world. There is no joy compared to
that, no relationship can bring that joy. A relationship always
remains a mixed phenomenon: a few moments of joy and
many more of misery. That is the cost one has to pay for those
few moments of joy.But if you are alone right now, even those
few moments will not be there; it will be just misery and misery
and one feels monotonous. When you are with somebody,
at least misery changes colors, shapes, forms. In the morning
it was one thing, in the evening it is something else. It is misery
all the same (chuckling) but it changes! So you find some
poor fellow. Start looking!

Friday, October 27, 2006

The Ship...which you always like to sail...

Ten Power Strategies for keeping your relationships strong:

1. Commit. Do you want to view your partner lovingly?

Are you for your partner or against your partner? Too many
people in relationships are enemies. They put a negative
spin on each other, just as enemies do. If you decide you want
to love your partner, you can intentionally view him or her lovingly.

2. Deliver effectively. You have a choice every time you say

something to your partner. You can say something that will
either nurture the relationship or tear it down. Say what
you mean, but don’t say it mean.

3. Foster collaboration. In a happy marriage, couples make

at least three times as many positive statements to and about
each other and their relationship (“We laugh a lot”) as opposed
to negative ones (“We never have fun”). Make daily deposits to
your relationship’s emotional bank account.

4. Create trust. Trust is at the foundation of any relationship.

We are more likely to have good relationships and succeed in
whatever we do when our relationships are based on trust.

5. Speak from the heart. In love relationships, feelings are

the voice of the heart. Appealing to your partner’s emotions works
more effectively than rational discourse. Much of what matters
in love depends upon our feelings.

6. Argue well. Successful conflict resolution includes: owning

your part in a conflict; using humor; stroking your partner with
a caring remark (“I know that this is hard for you”); making it
clear you’re on common ground (“This is our problem”);
backing down (it sometimes pays to yield); and being skillful
and receptive to compromise.

7. Be a model for your children. Some couples get mired

in repetitive fights to which their children bear witness; others may
even stop talking; other couples draw their children into their
differences and form a triangle. Successful couples do not draw
their children into adult issues as referees, judges, targets, or in
any other biased role.

8. Assess regularly. Reflect on how you’re doing. Awareness is

the first step in healing. Knowing how you are doing keeps you on
track. Feedback to each other is an early warning system to stem
negative patterns.

9. Prevent relapse. The emotional brain learns new patterns

over months. Over-learning, practicing a new habit beyond the
point where you can do it well, greatly reduces the odds that you
will revert to the old habit under pressure. Practice being a
sensitive and caring partner every day.

10. Seek help early. Having chronic relationship problems?

Early intervention is less painful and more effective than
intervention in a relationship that has been worn down over
a long period. Take action. Seek help early. Applying the 10
Power Strategies brings a huge return on investment. Ignoring
emotional competency puts you at greater risk for a shattered
home life and an artificial career ceiling.

Courtesy :Joel Block, Ph.D. is a psychologist and author of

"Making It Work When You Work a Lot"

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Present is a Present..!!

living in the past. Why we do that. We go back to the past at the the present moment and we like to have the delicious moment of journey we have arrived from.

Construct the future. Why we do this.. We like to shape our further process of what we do in life in a better way, by learning and observing from the environment.

Why we all stick to these two things mostly…?

By going back in time, is to reflect on the lessons events have taught you and to grow in wisdom and to savor the precious memories that you were blessed enough to experience well. So the present which holds the past memories nourishes you than the present moment when it happened.

if your intention - in going back in time – nourishes you , then its good. But if your intention and reason to go back into your past is to dwell on bad things and to worry over things you cannot change and to rehash painful times, then it's an unhealthy act.

But thoughts are not similar always. The person’s mind and the ideas that he has it when he is thinking , depends upon how he practiced himself looking things in optimistic or pessimistic ways. Those thoughts induce to have the pleasure or sorrowful moments in the present.

Being in the present, Construct the future may help the person to do better than what we he did in the past. and it also helps the person to have a fantasy about living and it those fantasies nourishes him and he is also planning to achieve certain goals by construct the future in the present moment.

After all humans are pleasure seeking animals. We are ready to accept the incidents and its outcome or feedback, if they are giving us delicious moments. But we are also fighting for the survival. So worries and painful moments are envitable.

How to come out of these…

“Live in the now" .. "Enjoy the moment."
So that you can adopt that moment whatever it gives you. Acceptance is a beautiful term, which can be feel only in the present state. Now..where are those worries, you have to worry for where your worries have


Friday, October 13, 2006

Welcome the Failures..!!

You might be astonished to read this title , welcome the failures.

Why?.. why I should welcome the failures , while I am towards my success to achieve something in my life. Is this a right phrase…? Let us share..

“Life is Difficult”

Once we understand and accept this truth, life is no longer difficult. Because the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.

Most people do not fully accept that life is difficult. Instead they moan about the enormity of their problems, burdens, and difficulties as if life should be easy. They voice their belief that their difficulties represent a unique affliction that has been visited upon them.

Life is a series of problems. Do we want to moan about them or solve them?

Confronting and solving problems can be painful. Indeed, because of the pain that conflicts engender in us, we call them problems. And since life poses endless problems, life is always difficult , full of pain as well as joy. Yet it is in meeting and solving problems that life has its meaning.

Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure. Problems call forth and create our courage and our wisdom. When we encourage the growth of our spirit, we boost our capacity to solve problems. It is through the pain of confronting and resolving problems that we learn.

As Ben Franklin said, “Those things that hurt, instruct.” For this reason, wise people learn to welcome problems.

Fearing the pain involved, we avoid problems. We procrastinate, hoping that they will go away. We try to get out of them. The tendency to avoid the emotional suffering inherent in problems is the primary basis of mental illness.

Some of us will go to extraordinary lengths to avoid our problems and the suffering they cause, trying to find an easy way out, building elaborate fantasies to the exclusion of reality. But, the substitute ultimately becomes more painful than the legitimate suffering it was designed to avoid.

When we avoid dealing with problems, we also avoid the growth. Let us learn the need for suffering and the need to face problems directly and to experience the pain involved.

Discipline is the tool we require to solve life’s problems. Without discipline, we can solve nothing When we teach ourselves and our children discipline, we are learning how to suffer and also how to grow.

Welcome the failures to step into the stone of success.


Thursday, October 12, 2006

Happiness and Life are not two different words..(?)(!)

I often ask the question, “What do you want from life?”
The answers people give are vague. Few people can say, “I want these things, for these reasons, and this is how I intend to achieve them.” These people are living life passionately and enthusiastically. They rarely complain or talk negatively about others or refer to happiness as a future event.

So what do they have that most people don’t? They know what they want.

Do you know what you want from life?
What are your dreams?

Think about it. Ponder it, and list those people, places, things, and experiences that you believe will make you happy. We all have a natural thirst for happiness, and we do the things we do because we believe they will make us happy.

We know the things that make us happy, we just don’t do them. Why? We are too busy trying to be happy.
We are too busy doing just about everything, that means just about nothing, to just about nobody, and will mean even less to anyone 100 years from now!

Most people are not thriving; most people are just surviving, just getting by, just hanging on. What’s the problem? What’s missing? What is it that we need that we don’t have? Some would say that it’s a lack of commitment, but there is a greater void—a great purposelessness.

Many people have lost any sense of the meaning and purpose of life; and without understanding their own purpose, they have no true commitment. Whether that commitment is to marriage, family, study, work, God, relationships, or the simple resolutions of our lives, it is hard to fulfill without a clear understanding of our purpose.

Once I thought that if I could change my surroundings, I would be happier. Discovering my purpose has caused me to realize that happiness is an inside-out job. When I am focused on becoming the best version of myself, I am happy. Only the pursuit of my essential purpose satisfies.

Think about this..!!


Hi.. Friends..!

"All it takes is one match to light a forest fire."
I would like to share some of my thoughts and my views about living in this blog.
Sharing is a great experience, it boost up both the giver and the receiver.

Humans actually crave novelty and change. Yet most of us stay in the safe harbor of the known. We think that we'll be happier and more secure in the familiar world of the known. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Avoiding change and growth is the most dangerous place to be as a human. Yes it is confusing to move away from the familiar. Yes it is hard to deal with change. Yet, that is where the opportunity lives. That is where growth lives. That is where our best selves live.