Anger is a negative Vritti or whirlpool in the
mind-lake.It is born of ignorance. It is a strong
emotion, excited by a real or fancied injury and
involving a desire for retaliation.
Anger is a positive and constructive aid to survival.
It provides us with boosts of both physical and emotional
energy when we are in need of protection and healing.
Not only can anger help us to cope with threat, hurt,
frustration and violation but if it is channelled carefully
it can help us to find courage to recognise and assert our
own rights, make changes in our lives, and be creative.
However, many of us find it difficult to express our
anger openly,directly and assertively. We fear our anger
will get out of control and take over our minds, that we
will lose the respect of others or that we might hurt
someone. We tell ourselves that anger is best kept hidden.
Consequently we may end up harming ourselves.
Sometimes we can be angry without recognising that we are
angry. Sometimes we do not recognise fully what it is we
are angry about. Sometimes we can be filled with a consuming
anger we do not know how to cope with. Sometimes we may forget
that any efforts we make to cope and survive with our anger and
pain are worthy of respect and this can make us feel more angry.
Immediate strategies for coping with angry feelings -
• Breathing deeply.Try yoga or some deep breathing techniques.
• Dancing, fast walking, running or aerobics, etc, will help to calm you down.
• Screw your face up a few times and feel the muscles relax.
• You could also try screaming and shouting abuse at an empty chair.
• Focus intently on a work activity or household chore.
Long term strategies for coping with angry feelings -
Use positive self-talk - • I cannot change the past but I can
change how I feel about it. • My self-esteem can survive without
the approval of everyone.
If you are angry with someone, if possible confront them.
Try to start positively. Be direct. Acknowledge your responsibility.
Avoid putting yourself down. Talk to someone else you think will
listen. If there is no-one to talk to, even shouting at an empty
space can be calming and healing.
Some techniques to come out of anger..
Take time out
Lie down and listen to some pleasant relaxing music.
Perhaps go for a walk to clam yourself.
Concentrating on your breathing or a specific word or mantra
will take your mind off obsessive thoughts and into stillness.
Writing down your feelings in a journal, letter or poem can be
an effective way of expressing and discharging feelings.