Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Why Men need space...??

The love between the Men and Women was
magical. They delighted in being together, doing things
together, and sharing together. Though from different
worlds, they reveled in their differences. They spent months
learning about each other, exploring and appreciating their
different needs, preferences, and behavior patterns. For years
they lived together in love and harmony.

Then they decided to fly to Earth. In the beginning everything
was wonderful and beautiful. But the effects of Earth's atmosphere
took hold, and one morning everyone woke up with a peculiar
kind of amnesiaselective amnesia!

Both the Martians and Venusians forgot that they were from
different planets and were supposed to be different. In one
morning everything they had learned about their differences
was erased from their memory. And since that day men and
women have been in conflict.

Men are like rubber bands. When they pull away,
they can stretch only so far before they come springing
back. A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to
understand the male intimacy cycle.

This cycle involves getting close, pulling away,
and then getting close again. Most women are surprised
to realize that even when a man loves a woman,
periodically he needs to pull away before he can get
closer. Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away.
It is not a decision or choice. It just happens.
It is neither his fault nor her fault. It is a natural cycle.

Women misinterpret a man's pulling away because
generally a woman pulls away for different reasons.
She pulls back when she doesn't trust him to understand
her feelings, when she has been hurt and is afraid of being
hurt again, or when he has done something wrong and
disappointed her.

Certainly a man may pull away for the same reasons,
but he will also pull away even if she has done nothing
wrong. He may love and trust her; and then suddenly he
begins to pull away. Like a stretched rubber band, he will
distance himself and then come back all on his own.

A man pulls away to fulfill his need for independence or
autonomy. When he has fully stretched away, then instantly
he will come springing back. When he has fully separated,
then suddenly he will feel his need for love and intimacy
again. Automatically he will he more motivated to give his
love and receive the love he needs. When a man springs
back, he picks up the relationship at whatever degree of
intimacy it was when he stretched away. He doesn't feel
any need for a period of getting reacquainted again.

Courtesy : Men are from Mars Women are from Venus - John Gray

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hi, new to the site, thanks.