Vision of Living

So What….!

2010-11-20T06:49:00.002+05:30

I would like to dedicate this to a good soul around me..

So what.. !

So what if something made me bad..

So what if i feel like everything goes wrong..

So what...if my life gives me all the pain…

So what...if someone is not there for u in life..

I am ready in all the way and ready to face it..

Let me know my capability of me

How far i could tolerate things...let me know

How strong i am...let me know

Life is full of options..

It gave me so many things around me..

The mistake is in my choice..

Its ok..not all the time..i cant be so right..

That doesnt mean...i cant be so right hereafter..

I will be right and i will make a good move..

And as life taught me some lesson...as a reply i will also teach the life some lesson..

I have that purity in me..

I am so genuine in what i am doing

Then why the hell i lack confidence..

Nothing is a compulsion here..

I wish to be here

And i wish to be like this

And i wish to have my own life on my own way

Some times my dear most friend Life..may not be at my side to make

my wish come true…

let it be..

After all my friend -- THE LIFE

So he has the right to do that..

Still i wish to be with him and proceed further

I will teach him a lesson through this…

I wont oppose..but surely life will learn a lesson from me…

Three Cs for one C

2007-05-23T23:15:00.000+05:30

- Clarity

- Congruency

- Consistency

= CAREER

Clarity means discovering what you are designed to do. One of the greatest benefits of Clarity is having realistic expectations for yourself. Clarity allows you to have realistic expectations of what you can and can not do.It’s one thing to know what you are designed to do.

The main idea of Congruency is to align what you do. When it comes to congruency, most of us are rather badly out of alignment. You may need to make some adjustments. Most will be incremental, but some may be radical, such as changing professions. The goal is to spend more time using your strengths. That’s where performance and satisfaction both peak.

Consistency means staying with it. Its just like the traffic in a city.You accelerate as the light turns green, only to stop at the red light on the next corner. This pattern of starting and stopping repeats itself over and over as you make your way to your destination. It’s impossible to gain any momentum.

Careers can have momentum, too. Career momentum is achieved by practicing Clarity and Congruency over a long period of time. Dr. Bernard Bloom of Northwestern University discovered that it takes between ten and eighteen years to achieve world-class performance in any career. You’ll never get there if you keep switching careers.The secret to gaining momentum in your life is to do what you are designed to do over a long period of time. It all starts with Clarity. So go ahead with the all three Cs and choose the career according to your interest and skills.

Have a wonderful living with your own choice.

Vipassana Meditation

2007-05-02T22:40:00.000+05:30

Dhamma Podcasts: A Simple Path - Part 1

Dhamma Podcasts from Pariyatti.org: A Simple Path - Part 2

Dhamma Podcasts from Pariyatti.org: A Simple Path - Part 3

Richard Dawkins - The Big Question: Why are we here?

2007-04-15T21:46:00.000+05:30

To see more video clips of Richard Dawkins visit here.

A gossip about Gossip !

2007-04-15T15:44:00.000+05:30

Go..ssip !

Every one gossip about someone , seek excitement doing that. We are more interested to know about others. And we like others should get revealed to us. We don’t normally see the gossip under the indecent way of behaviour. Gossip is everywhere, from low level to VVIP level. We dont even have an idea, why we are suppose to gossip about someone to other. But its interesting to do. And we also think, its harmless doing gossips. We find pleasure out of it and passing time by munching someone’s actions.

Why we gossip?

I think, we gossip about others because we are not sufficiently interested in the process of our own thinking and of our own action. We want to see what others are doing and perhaps, to put it kindly, to imitate others.

Gossip! It is a form of restlessness, Like worry, it is an indication of a restless mind.
The person, who is hearing the gossip from some one, seems to think that others are revealed to him by his being concerned with them ,with their doings, with their thoughts, with their opinions.

But do we know others if we don't know ourselves? Can we judge others, if we do not know the way of our own thinking, the way we act, the way we behave.

“f you are aware about your gossip to some one, it will indicate an awful lot to you about yourself. You can even cover up your behaviour by saying that you are inquisitive. It indicates restlessness, a sense of excitement, a shallowness, a lack of real, profound interest in people which has nothing to do with gossip.- J.K”

Is anyone interested in gossips, even after reading this :)

Achieve the Excellence !

2007-03-18T10:48:00.000+05:30

Excellence

Every now and then you encounter someone who demonstrates excellence on the job. It might be a manager who generates both high performance and loyalty in his teams. It could be a teacher with a knack for unlocking the desire to learn in each student. Excellence, true excellence, is something we prize but seldom see. It is a joy to encounter someone who is truly excellent at what they do.

One comment that is heard time and again about those who demonstrate excellence is, "He/she is a natural at it." They don’t seem to struggle to be excellent. it just flows. That is always a sign of motivation, and there in lies

The first key: Motivation is required for excellence.

Motivation is what we like to do naturally. It’s like being right or left- handed. We don’t even think about it. We just write. The same is true for people known for excellence. They have a group of motivations that work in concert to help them perform at a higher level. Like all motivations, these were inborn and are as much a part of them as being blue-eyed or tall.

But there is a second key: Motivation can be developed.

People who demonstrate excellence have identified their motivations and worked hard to develop them. They have added knowledge, skill, experience and practice to consistently produce at the highest levels.

By the way, there is a flip side to these two keys, and it is this: The best we can be with low motivation is adequate. No matter how hard we work and desire it, in the long run we will never be excellent at something without high levels of motivation in that area. In other words, if we toil in areas where we have low motivation, we resign ourselves to mediocrity.

To achieve excellence in every work , we are suppose to be self motivated towards the work. If we feel the motivation is inadequate to achieve the excellence , then we must work on it and we must develop the skill of being motivated.

“Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts. – Aristotle “

Where our talents gets stimulated..?

2007-03-08T10:10:00.000+05:30

Motivation is what we LIKE to do naturally. Talent is what we DO well naturally. They can exist independently, but when they combine, they create something special. They create motivated talents.

People often are naturally good at something (talented), but it just doesn’t turn them on. For example, Hema is good with numbers, but she doesn’t go out of her way to find tasks calling for that talent. Most people have such talents. But then there are those talents that we really enjoy using. These are the motivated talents, and this is where the magic is.

We use motivated talents every chance we get. Most of the time we don’t even think about it. For example, raju has a motivated talent for conversation, and he naturally engages both friends and strangers in dialog. He doesn’t consciously determine to do so. it just happens. It’s natural and unforced. He enjoys it,and he is good at it. That is the hallmark of a motivated talent.

Motivated talents tend to be irrepressible. They find expression. In fact, if you have ever tried to stifle a motivated talent (either yours or someone else’s) it probably felt like you were trying to hold two dozen ping pong balls under water at the same time. Motivated talents pop out, even if no one else is asking for them. And doesn’t that make sense? After all, it’s what we do well and enjoy.

(An idea I got it from Bubble theory- ref)

Build on your strengths

2007-02-14T20:10:00.000+05:30

Did you know that Babe Ruth, a famous baseball player, was once a pitcher? At one point he made the deliberate decision to stop pitching so he could focus on batting. He took a lot of heat for his decision because he was a GOOD pitcher. He stuck with his decision though because he knew he had the motivation to be a GREAT batter.

Often the difference between being good and being great is making adjustments that allow you to spend more of your time developing your greatest strengths.Ever had an annual performance review where the first part was about the wonderful things you did that year, but then the focus quickly shifted to a discussion about shoring up your weaknesses? It’s an all-too-common scenario. And it’sprobably a waste of time.

The "fix your weaknesses" school believes that with enough discipline, determination and training, anyone can do anything.Unfortunately, it confuses weaknesses and limitations. Weaknesses reflect a lack of skill (how to do something) or knowledge (what you know).Weaknesses can be overcome by education, training,experience and practice. On the other hand, limitations reflect a lack of motivation (what you do well naturally). These really can’t be overcome, because new motivations can’t be acquired.

In fact, if a person has low motivation in a particular area,spelling for example, there is very little likelihood that he or she will ever be a great speller. The best they will be is adequate. Who wants to be adequate?It’s a much better idea to build on your strengths.If you want to move up from being good to being great, know what your talents and motivations are, and build on them.Why? Because you will develop what you do best and enjoy most. These are your strengths, and they are yours for life.You can build on them, and they won't let you down. Think about it: what would your life be like if you got paid to do what you do best and truly enjoy? Awesome, isn’t it?

Courtesy: Assessment.com

Tears tares the ego..

2007-02-10T01:23:00.000+05:30

Tears, idle tears,
Stop!
Tears, soulful tears,
Start!
Tears, helpless tears,
Continue!
Tears, determined tears,
Reach!
~
Before I accepted The life of aspiration,
My tears were the tears Of real sorrow.
Now that I have accepted The life of aspiration,
My tears are not tears of sorrow But tears of real joy.
~
I like the tears That flow from the depth Of my helpless despair.
I love the tears That flow from the depth Of my dawning aspiration.
I adore the tears That flow from the depth Of my Liberation-sea.

-Sri Chinmoy

What! a lovely poem.. hmm I feel the same way as expressed in the poem..

Tears are the only outlet to ventilate one's extreme emotions like sorrows & happiness. Only humans can get to know what is smile and how it spreads over as a mood , which is healthy and also welcome by everyone. As we accept Smile while being happy, and so should we have to accept the tears while being sad. Tears are always considered to be an unwanted way of expression in one’s life. As long as, emotions are part and parcel of our life, we just cant avoid tears.

In fact, one should feel happy to get tears at their eyes. It’s a right way of ventilating and understanding one’s own feeling, whether the feeling is sad or happy. Tears shows the depth of the feeling. From tears , we are about to know our own personality, the values we respect, and it also strengthen one’s mind to get out of the sad mood.

I love to cry more.. Because , only those tears showed me who I am in different environment.

I read from a blog..

2007-02-09T23:12:00.000+05:30

Lies We Believe About Feelings:

Most of what we currently believe about emotions is false. Here are some of the beliefs we have about feelings. These beliefs are not all inclusive, because each individual, each family and each culture has unique beliefs regarding emotions, most of which are not true. But knowing about these lies may help you to unravel the mystery of our past and how we got captured.

LIE #1: There are "good" feelings and "bad" feelings.
TRUTH: ALL FEELINGS ARE GOOD!

All feelings are good because they reflect back to us how an experience is affecting us. If we pretend that certain feelings are bad, rather than the experience is making us feel bad, it is like we are beating the wagon to make the horse move. Now, some feelings we do enjoy more than others; and we would like to continue to feel some feelings and stop feeling others. But the way to stop feeling an emotion we do not like is to stop experiencing whatever it is that is painful or hurtful.

LIE #2: We can decide how we are going to feel.
TRUTH: FEELINGS CANNOT BE DICTATED.

You can choose to change your mind, but you cannot just choose to change your feelings, not without damaging your soul and possibly losing a large part of yourself. You can tell a child not to be angry at someone, but that will not stop the anger. It will only teach a child to hide the anger and suppress the feelings, AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, teach the child that feelings are wrong or bad. Feelings are important to us because they tell us what we like and don't like. I will say this over and over again. I may react to something differently than you do because my reaction (which comes from my feelings), comes from who I am. You may not like to swim and your feelings tell you so. I may love to swim and my feelings tell me so. Each person is unique. Each person's feelings come from the deepest part of the self, to tell us who we are and how we want to live our lives and what we want to do and who we want to be with. We must not let the mind or intellect tell us what to do, when it is contrary to how we feel. The intellect, when it is working at its best, is making decisions for us and for our good based on how we feel.

LIE #3: Feelings lie. They are an unreliable barometer of the truth.
TRUTH: FEELINGS ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH

Our emotions are our surest way to know what is true about any situation. Our emotions always tell us the truth long before the mind can understand a situation or discern danger. This is partly because the mind is primarily a linear thing. It sees, thinks, and makes decisions in a linear fasion. Whereas the discernment that comes from our soul, our emotions, is very different. Our emotions respond to feeling nuances in a situation as a whole, even without mental understandings. You might be used to thinking of this as instinct, intuition, gut reaction, sensing. Whatever you call it, the emotions have the power to keep us safe and help us understand the world and ourselves by telling us the whole truth about a person or situation. However, there is a problem: when emotions go unexpressed, they freeze in time. What this means is that we often respond to a present day situation with a backlog of stored frozen emotions from our past. This is inappropriate, obviously, but that doesn't mean the emotions are lying. All it means is that in order to be able to respond and feel truly in the present with all of our resources, we need to heal all the old trapped, frozen emotions we have locked up in the attic.

LIE #4: Once you have experienced emotional trauma and deep pain, you are stuck with the feelings forever and must learn to live with them, overcome them and ultimately suppress them.
TRUTH: ALL FEELINGS, PAST OR PRESENT, CAN BE RELEASED COMPLETELY AND WILL BE GONE FOREVER.

Once feelings have been released, wonderful natural processes begin to spontaneously activate. A re-evaluation process takes place and gives you new understanding. Awarenesses that you did not have before lead to changed beliefs and new decisions, and an outpouring of love and forgiveness takes place automatically. There is no hurt that cannot be healed, whether it is a hurt we have given or hurt we have received. All hurt feelings can be released until they are gone. This is part of the miracle of how feelings work if they are allowed to function naturally.
Our feelings must be allowed to surface and we must process them if we are to understand what they have to teach us. Unprocessed feelings do cause many problems. But feelings that have been accepted, honored and allowed to move through tears, are the most valuable tool we have.

LIE #5: You are what you feel.
TRUTH: FEELINGS ARE NOT SET IN STONE AND THEY ARE NOT AN INDICATION OF WHO YOU ARE.

As long as emotions are allowed to express organically, as long as they are not suppressed or judged, they can heal and evolve. You can feel murderous hatred and desire to kill someone. This does not make you evil or bad. This doesn't make you a murderer (unless you ACT on the feeling). All it means is you have a feeling that needs acceptance and expression, and once given those two precious gifts, will move itself to healing and will no longer be whatever it was. It will evolve naturally and spontaneously into something else. We all suffer under the weight of this lie that says what we feel is who we are, and therefore we try our best to suppress all feelings that we judge as bad, wrong, evil, or unloving.

An answer to a Blogger Question..

2007-01-24T19:47:00.000+05:30

Q: "Being alone is heaven " one soul said. That is not the truth.
Sharing is heaven"

A: Like to be alone is completely different from feeling loneliness. The exact meaning for loneliness is unhappy .Because you have no friends or people to talk to, you feel the loneliness. Loneliness is a sad feeling feel by a person when he misses something aroud him. But aloneness is, something , a person like to be with.

A person who like to be alone, chooses the environment where he/she feels the enjoyment within himself/herself. It is a tendency of being detached from the group, without planning or trying to be alone from the group. No one can do any practice to develop that tendency of being alone.

I am not saying, being alone is heaven for someone who really don’t want to be alone. There are people who like to be with a group, like to share things with the group. I am not declaring , aloneness fetches you heaven in earth, if you adopt that. Instead, I said, the people who like to be alone finds more enjoyment with their aloneness.

I can even say in a simple way too. Sharing needs two people atleast. If the other person , whom we like to share our things may differ from the thoughts of what we share to him/her. Sharing expects recognition.

Why we like to share things?.

We like to put ourself in a comfort zone by sharing. It is one of the way of getting recognition from the person to whom we share our things. Its all depend upon the person. We would like to share our things to people who are ready to listen/accept/console. Sharing doesn’t mean to be positive all the time. It also includes criticisms/difference of opinions.

Sharing can happen with a person often, if he/she gives you the comfort of understanding. We cant share things with everyone, even when we like to be in the group. Sharing is possible only with people who has better understanding about us and about the concept what we deliver. It’s a kind of happiness we feel, when someone really understand us or listen us wholeheartedly. Most of the people prefer to share things with others. They feel some peace by sharing.

The people who prefer to be alone feels the same peace , even they are out of group. I am not degrading the people who like to be with the group. But I can say, for SOME, being alone is preferable and they feel more enjoyment while they are alone compare to be with the group.

LIFE also has it's own life..

2007-01-11T15:03:00.000+05:30

Life is known as to be an all or nothing, battle between misery and bliss. Sometimes life is just okay, sometimes it is comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleasant. too. When our day is not perfect, then we consider that into a failure or a loss.

We already know that we have to live life as it comes. But , We are not aware of the fact. We have an expectation of being happy or we expect life should give us happiness all the time. We just cant take a day with sorrow as an another day.

Life moves on, whatever happens. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would be realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end.

Life's up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine our values and goals. We have to think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life as we want. Instead of looking at life as a narrow funnel, we can see it ever-widening to choose the things we want to do.

We can get to know about the value of life from a person who is in the death bed. We really don’t understand the worth of life and the time we spent on it. We can realize that when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, that we begin to live each day to the future. As if it was the only one we had.

“I couldn't care less what anybody says about me. I live my life, especially my personal life, strictly for myself.... Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. ~ Johnny Carson “

Face life with an open mind. So that every moment can become a source of beauty and joy. Life is full of golden moments for people , if they have the vision to recognize it as such.

New year /\ Resolutions..!

2006-12-31T14:50:00.000+05:30

Everyone has the special regards over the first day of the year. All over the world, the new year celebrations are well planned to welcome the forthcoming year. People used to accustom with grand parties over night and these are all the sign of opening the year with warmth.

Some people used to take resolutions and they set a goal to achieve them , through out that year. Resolutions,if carried out successfully, not only act as short-term goals to success but also helps to improve life and overcoming those habits, which we do not like.

The unfortunate reality is that , for most people, the year goes by with little or no change. We do our jobs and live our lives, but our dreams don't come true. Some things do change, but life doesn't seem all that different. Not like we hoped..

The New Year is a good time to make resolutions. but what is the point of taking resolutions,if we can't keep them.We need to have the desire, the will power to execute the plan .We should plan the requirement a month before the new year eve. So that, We can strengthen the ways of executing them.

Take time to review the last year resolution and Measure the success with your actual requirement. This will help you to know, where you lack and what could be done further to fullfil it. Be clear with what you need and what you are going to achieve.Take only one resolution at a time. So that ,the focus can be core. Decide , what reward can be given to you after you achieve the target. This will boost up your desire whenever you slow down the process.

Sometimes its easy to forget the resolution after the New Year euphoria passes away, and one is tempted to postpone the resolution to the next year. Plan to remind yourself of it throughout the year. Write your resolution and stick it , in a place where you can see it often.

Enhance your strengths, act against your weakness and see what and how you can utilize the opportunities for the year and see, whether you have to prepare yourself against any threats.

Wish you all have a Happy and Prosperous New Year 2007..

Indian woMEN......!

2006-12-28T09:14:00.000+05:30

The Position of Women in India ,right from the ancient through medieval to the modern times has always attracted debate. Some scholars said that women enjoyed greater freedom in the days of yore, others hold that the opposite is true.women have always been fighting for equal recognition in society.

In India, the roles traditionally assigned for men and women are that of bread-winners and home-makers, respectively. but nowadays, women have to play their roles in both the ways. In the last decade, women’s approach towards the society was different. They realized that they were at the back and they jumped into the field of work like forming women’s liberation clubs, meets etc.

Did they achieved what they aimed??

Ofcourse, They did.Today women with their smartness, grace and elegance have conquered the whole world. They with their hard work and sincerity have excelled in each and every profession. Women are considered to be more honest, meticulous, and efficient and hence more and more companies prefer hiring women for better performance and result.

By the result of this, women got engaged, all most in all fields of work. As I told before, they are supposed to play their roles at home as homemakers as well as bread winners. The pressure is doubled now. As a women, I can appreciate the efforts and efficiency of women community who fought for the equal recognition in the society. At the same time, women have to spend more energy to meet out the Situation arises both at home and also at the work spot.

Indian men are same as the days of yore till this modern time. They never change their ideas and they got conditioned in such of way of doing work only at the office.They like to be more comfortable and they are also ready to title the women as the energetic, smarter than them, by doing things both at home and office.

We enjoy the freedom now and we tasted it too. But we are not aware about the pressure what we undergo. Thats why, we are capable of doing things. How far it goes like this..

Where we missed ……..????

Osho - Meditations for Contemporary People

2006-12-19T18:26:00.000+05:30

Boost up your self esteem..!

2006-12-18T15:54:00.000+05:30

Having good self-esteem is the ticket of making good choices about your mind and body. If you think you are important, you'll be less likely to follow the crowd. If you have good self-esteem, you know that you are smart enough to make your own decisions. You value your safety, your feelings, your health - your whole self! Good self-esteem helps you know that every part of you is worth caring for and protecting.

Following are six behaviors that increase self-esteem, enhance your self-confidence, and spur your motivation. You may recognize some of them as things you naturally do in your nteractions with other people.

First, greet others with a smile and look them directly in the eye. A smile and direct eye contact convey confidence born out of self-respect.

Second, always show real appreciation for a gift or complement. Don’t downplay or sidestep expressions of affection or honour from others. The ability to accept or receive is a universal mark of an individual with solid self-esteem.

Third, don’t brag. It’s almost a paradox that genuine modesty is actually part of the capacity to gracefully receive compliments. People who brag about their own exploits or demand special attention are simply trying to build themselves up in the eyes of others and that’s because they don’t perceive themselves as already worthy of respect.

Fourth, don’t make your problems the centerpiece of your conversation. Talk positively about your life and the progress you’re trying to make. Be aware of any negative thinking, and take notice of how often you complain. When you hear yourself criticize someone - and this includes self-criticism - find a way to be helpful instead of critical.

Fifth, respond to difficult times or depressing moments by increasing your level of productive activity. When your self-esteem is being challenged, don’t sit around and fall victim to ‘paralysis by analysis’.

Sixth, choose to see mistakes and rejections as opportunities to learn. View a failure as the conclusion of one performance, not the end of your entire career.

Self esteem test

Get ! Set ! Go....

2006-12-17T17:43:00.000+05:30

It's a well known fact that the biggest reason most people fail to achieve any real success in their life is....they never plan to. They want to. They dream about it and fantasize about it. They talk about success. Maybe they even read success books, listen to success tapes and attend success seminars.However, the sad fact is that unless a person has some incredible luck (like winning the lottery), their chances of succeeding without a plan are almost nil.

Some goal setting tips to keep in mind,which I read in an article.

Make goals meaningful. Goal setting for the sake of goal setting almost always ends in disappointment. Goal setting is simply a tool to use in achieving a favorable outcome — what some people call a “Dream.”

Use positive language and the present tense when setting a goal. It is better to say “I weigh a healthy, trim and fit 60 kgs” than “I want to lose 20 kgs.”

Always put your goals in writing. Every expert agrees that setting a goal without putting it in writing drastically reduces your chances of success.

Goal setting should take place in every area of your life, including Health, Relationships, Spiritual, Career and Financial.

Setting Life Goals will add dimension, excitement and texture to your life. Failure doesn’t always mean that you did something wrong in your goal setting or implementation. It may just mean that the time you allotted for success wasn’t adequate. A thorough review process should be undertaken before setting the goal again.

Talking about good & bad..Is that Good? or Bad?

2006-12-15T09:46:00.000+05:30

Nobody sees things exactly the same way. One hundred people will see the same thing a hundred different ways, so there is no absolute way to determine what is bad or good. What is "good" to some people becomes "bad" for other people, depending on the circumstances. As time and situations change "good" may become "bad", and "bad" may become "good". So what is good? What is bad?

The law changes all the time. Something that used to be legal may become illegal; something illegal in one country may be legal in another country at the same time! So what is good and bad? What is legal and illegal? There is no clear answer.

We lead life with what we believe and things got conditioned by the society and the norms, rules and regulations. We lead a restricted life and For us, life is full of adjustments. So we are in need of moulding our personality to get adjusted with the people, we move. Anything , adjusted with the other, lose its originality. Someway, we prepare ourself fittest for the survival.

Cultures and its style fixes and decides good and bad things. Let us have a clear vision of good and bad things according to the circumstances what we face. And Let us try to understand the circumstances and the people whom we interact. So that We can have a better relationship.

Ego..(hEy.....Go..!)

2006-12-05T10:50:00.000+05:30

Ego is a need.it is a social need, it is a social by-product.Everybody is adding our ego, and everybody is trying to modify it in such a way that we don't become a problem to the society.
Ego always in search of food, that somebody should appreciate it. That's why we continuously ask for attention.We get the idea of who we are from others. Others shape our center.

One center we come with, which is given by existence itself. That is the self. And the other center, which is created by the society, is the ego. Through the ego the society is controlling us.

Without the screen of the ego, there are moments. One is the dreamless sleep.and the others are love and sex. In dreamless sleep the ego completely disappears. If you have two hours of deep dreamless sleep, in the morning you are new, fresh, alive. Everything seems to be new, because you are new. So make it a point that sleep is very valuable. don't miss it for any reason. if you follow a regular pattern of sleep the body will find it easier and the mind will find it easier to disappear.

In lovemaking, totally the ego disappears, because at the highest peak, at the highest climax of lovemaking, you are pure energy. The mind cannot function. With such joy, with such an outburst of energy, the mind simply stops.Thats why, both sleep and love fetches the joy , the bliss.In both experience , we are totally out of Ego.

Try to see your own ego. Just watch it. The more you watch, the more capable you will become.Suddenly one day, you simply see that it has dropped.

When you are mature through understanding, awareness, and you have felt totally that ego is the cause of all your misery, simply one day you see the dead leaf dropping. After dropping , you can be with the real center the soul, the self, the god, the truth.

Is intelligent - intellect the same?

2006-12-03T21:19:00.000+05:30

Mind is not your intelligence

It may sound strange but this is a truth, that mind is not your intelligence. Mind can be intellectual, which is a very poor substitute for intelligence.

The intellect is absolutely bankrupt. It has nothing of its own, all is borrowed. And that´s the difference between intelligence and intellect. Intelligence has an eyesight of its own, a capacity to see into things, into problems. Intelligence is your born quality.

Intelligence is the growth of inner consciousness. It has nothing to do with knowledge.Intellect dissects, analyses. It is the instrument of science. Intelligence is a natural phenomenon just as breathing is, just as seeing is. It is your very being, your very nature. An intelligent man looks into life and whatsoever is there he is ready to see it. He has no barriers to his vision; his vision is transparent. An intelligent person has the ability to think, understand and has the ability to learn with the available resources provided to him.

What is your idea..

Regards
Sowmya

Cure the tumour with humour..!

2006-11-30T11:14:00.000+05:30

This moment, this space is beautiful, where you find
yourself.Nothing is missing except your laughter.If
you can laugh, you will fall in tune with the cosmic
energy. I teach you laughter. I am against all
seriousness.- osho

Our five senses are not enough for ideal living. We
need to use our sixth sense: our sense of humour.
Humour isn't about merely telling jokes; it's the way
we view the world. We can be sincere about life
without taking it so seriously. We can laugh about
our mistakes and pain.

When you make fun of yourself, you disempower those
who would make fun of you and disarm possible confrontations.
Laughter dissolves tension, stress, anxiety, irritation,
anger, grief, and depression. After a hearty bout of
laughter, you will experience a sense of well-being..
Remember, a person without a sense of humour is like a car
without shock absorbers.

Develop your sense of humour and you will find you are
more productive, a better communicator..Everyone loves
someone who can make them laugh. The more you share your
sense of humour, the more friends you will have.A sense
of humour can help you accept the inevitable, rise to any
challenge, handle the unexpected with ease, and come out
of any difficulty smiling.

Laugh out louldly ..!

Every time my friend out on a cloudy day with a group of
friends,He is the first person to know when it starts to rain.
Do you know why? Because he's bald!...lol

Living without conflict...! - jiddu Krishnamurti

2006-11-27T22:12:00.000+05:30

Most of us are ridden by the desire for success, for
fame, or by the desire to be known; and it is an everlasting
struggle and effort. Struggle is apparently accepted by each
one as a necessity—in learning, in getting educated, in going
to the office, in climbing the ladder of success, in understanding
what is truth; everything has become a question of struggle,
effort.

Why do we struggle? What is the essence of struggle, what is
the essence ambition? Surely, conflict is the essence of ambition.
Conflict exists because there is contradiction. If there was no
contradiction, there would be no struggle.If there is no
contradiction, there need be no effort. And we are a mass of
contradiction.

Why does this contradiction exist? Why does desire tear in
different directions? Being torn in different directions, we say
to ourselves, ‘I must be without desire,’ or ‘I must control the
desire.’ Psychologically it is impossible to control desire; you
have to understand it, you have to unravel it, you have to go
to the full length, not in its expression, not in its fulfilment, but
understand the whole significance of desire which breeds
contradiction. Because it breeds contradiction, we resist desire,
we suppress desire, we say to ourselves, ‘We must be desireless’
—which is to destroy the whole immensity of life. For desire
is part of life, and merely to suppress it, deny it, control it, is
to shut off the immensity of life.

So, struggle exists because there is contradiction outwardly
and inwardly. Outwardly there is the attraction of power, position
or prestige, which is offered to a man who seeks status. There is
a living with function. We have to function as human beings,
we have to go to the office, we have to learn, we have to do things
—a function. But with that function goes the desire to be more than
a functionary, because you use that function as a means to
acquire power, position, prestige; and so, there is contradiction.

A man who uses function to achieve status can never be
efficient. And we need to be efficient in this world, because
function matters enormously.

Why is there this intense desire on the part of each one,
almost every one, to achieve fame? Why is there this desire?

why there is this incessant battle with yourself. Surely, for
most of us, we are aware at some time or other, consciously or
unconsciously, that there is a great emptiness, loneliness in us.
.And because we are so frightened of that loneliness, we run
away from it, so there is a contradiction. We try to escape from
that loneliness through knowledge, through success, through
money, through sex, through religion, through every form.
But the fact is that you are lonely—which you don't want to
face—and you are escaping from it, and so there is contradiction,
which breeds conflict.

We are concerned with conflict. A man who has no conflict is
not ambitious. And a man who is ambitious can never love;
he does not know what it means to love because he is concerned
with himself and with his own ideas and his own achievements.
A man who seeks fame—how can he love, how can he have
kindliness, generosity? And this sense of achievement can only
come about when there is an escape from the fact that you are
lonely. Do what you will, until you understand that extraordinary
loneliness, your gods, your knowledge, your power or your position
have no value, nor does virtue have any value.

So, this contradiction exists when there is an avoidance
of the fact—the fact that you are lonely, the fact that you
are angry, the fact that you are violent. You are violent,
you are angry, or you are ambitious—that is a fact. You
should not be angry, you should not be violent, or you
should not be ambitious—that is an idea, that is a non-fact.
Therefore ideals, which have no reality, no substance, breed
contradiction. The man who faces the fact of every day, of
every minute, without distortion—such a man has no conflict.
And to live without conflict demands tremendous energy. Not
that the man who has conflict has no energy; he is dissipating
energy. Not that the man who is ambitious has no energy;
he has the energy which comes about through resistance,
but that is destructive energy. There is that energy which
comes when there is no conflict, when you are facing the fact
every minute—I mean by ‘the fact’ the psychological fact,
what you are inwardly.

one has to understand the fact. We do not understand the fact
because consciousness is the result of influences. We cannot
see the fact because of the influence that has shaped thought,
the influence which is shaping the conscious mind as well as the
unconscious mind. Is it possible for the mind to be free of
influence? You understand, sir, influence Can you be aware
of every influence—be aware without choice, just be aware
of every influence that is going on around you? Is that possible?
Because, if you are free, if you can observe influence, your
mind is already sharpened and therefore capable of freeing
itself from influence. This is a complex subject; it needs attention,
it needs all your thought to find out, because you are the result
of influence. When you believe that you are the higher self,
and all the rest of it, when you say there is in you God, divinity,
the atman—all that is influence. When the communist does not
believe in God, he is also influenced.

Is it possible to be free of all influences? Otherwise you
cannot proceed to inquire into the question of freedom,
and be free. As I said, you can never be free of influence,
but you can always be watching every influence that you
meet. That means watching every minute what you are
doing, what you are thinking, what you are feeling; and
in that watching, not to allow any form of distortion,
self-opinion, evaluation to take place, which is the result
of influence. All influence is evil, as authority is evil. There
is no good influence or bad influence, as all influence
shapes the mind, corrupts the mind. So, if one understands
the fact that every form of influence—it does not matter
whether it is good or bad—distorts, cripples, corrupts the
mind, if one understands that fact, sees that fact, then
one will be aware, totally, of every influence that impinges
on the mind. That is, in denying, in negation, there is the
emergence of the fact, of truth. When you deny, when you
say no, you do so either with a motive or without a motive.
Probably you have never said no. Because, most of us are
yes-sayers; we accept, we never say, no to anything without
a motive—which means that when you say no without a motive,
you are out of influence.

The word anger, the word ‘God”, the word ‘communist’, the
word ‘Congress’, the word ‘India’—we are slaves to these
words. And a mind that is a slave to a word cannot
see the fact. So, you begin to discover for yourself
how extraordinarily slavish thought is to a word. And you
will find, if you will go into it very deeply, that there
is no thought without a word. And you will find,if you go
still deeper, that where there is a thinker and a thought,
there is a contradiction, and every form of experience only
divides and strengthens the thinker and the thought as a
separate process. So, it is only when this whole process
which I have from the beginning until now, is understood,
examined,watched, that the mind comes out of this social,
environmental,verbal structure as an uncorrupted, clear,
sane, rational mind.It is only then that the mind is no
longer influenced; it is completely empty. It is only
such a mind that can go beyond time, and beyond all space.
It is only then the immeasurable,the unknowable, can come
into being.

Courtesy : Video : you tube

Managing Internal Distractions

2006-11-27T15:09:00.000+05:30

Tips and Articles from Meg Edwards

While coaching people I often hear about the

distractions that prevent them from getting done

what they say they want to get done. I hear them

complain about all the things that pull them off of

their focus.

Mel Levine, a Developmental Pediatrician defines

distraction as “ a departure from whatever current

need or plan a [person] is attending to.” He describes

five kinds of distractions: Visual, Auditory, Tactile,

Future-oriented and Social. I find it useful to identify

the type of distractions that may pull a person away

from their focus because once the tendency is identified,

a strategy can be developed to redirect oneself.

Visual: While on the phone you see a pile of paper that has

been sitting on your desk for awhile and wonder if there

is anything important in that stack that you need to do

something about. So you stop whatever you are doing

and start to browse through that pile.

Remedy: Do a mindsweep of everything that has your

attention in your office. Out of this mindsweep you may

see a project that needs to be added to your project list

called “Get Clean and Current in Office.” Determine what

your next action is to move on this project and write that

action on the appropriate list.

Auditory: You hear the “ding” on your email notifying you

that you have a new email. So you stop whatever you are

doing to see what that is and what you need to do about it.

In other words, you treat email like a ringing phone.

Remedy: Unless you have a job which requires that you

be immediately responsive to every email that comes in,

turn your email notification system off. Designate specific

times during the day when you will focus on email.

Tactile: Have you ever been working on something and before

you knew it you had something else in your hand that grabbed

your attention and you don’t remember picking it up?

Remedy: Only have reference material, equipment, decoration,

supplies or whatever you are currently working on top of your

desk. Everything else should be filed or put away.

Future Oriented: You are responding to an email which

reminds you of a project that is due ten days from now.

You start thinking about all the moving parts of that

project and before you know it you are working on that

project and you never finished writing the email.

Remedy: As part of your weekly review make sure you

look ahead to the due dates for every project and clarify

all the pieces that need to be done to ensure the projects

are moving in a timely fashion. Add any due dates to any

pieces of the projects so you can know when you need to

be working each piece.

Social: This interruption happens when you are working

at your desk and you see someone you haven’t connected

with in a while so you find yourself following them to the

coffee room to have a chat and suddenly you realize you

have spent 20 minutes talking to them rather than

working on the presentation that is due tomorrow.

Remedy: When you want to connect with someone, employ

the “two minute rule”. Let the person know that you want

to connect with them and can the two of you look at a time

that will work for both of you to do that. This will enable

you to relax because you will know that the opportunity

to be with this person is built into your schedule.

Sender: T.Prabu

To be alone is one of most beautiful experiment..

2006-11-23T22:05:00.000+05:30

You are not disturbed any more by the others; you donot
force yourselves any more yourself to do something which
one awaits from you. Only, you can do what you want to do,
you can feel what you want to feel.

All which you need is to detach you from your mental. Your
mental is not your mental; your mental is only one representative
of the crowd to which you belong. It is not with your service,
it is with the service of crowd. Crowd put, in your mental, a
detective who continues to force you, even if you are alone,
to comprise you according to rules'. All the secrecy is to be pilot
the mental one; allow your nature to be and say clearly to the
mental one: “You are not with me, I came in the world without
you, you were given to me later by education, for the example.

You are something from abroad; you do not form part of my
nature; at least when I am alone, I only leaves.” You must learn
how to say to the mental one: “The farm!” and to allow your
nature full freedom.

Once you learned that the mental one can be put on side and that
you can be really alone, you will be immensely astonished by the
beauties, innocence, the perspicacity which you have. Because
with the mental one you are not really alone, all these voices,
those of your parents, those of the teachers, the priests and the
politicians are recorded in the mental one and the mental one
simply continues to repeat them. It is a superb strategy played
by the company against the individual.

Courtesy : Osho - Extract of: From Death to Deathlessness

Lonliness..!

2006-11-23T09:56:00.000+05:30

It is certainly true that in many countries, modern culture
emphasises the individual person, and not the group or
family. There is often pressure to be 'self-contained'.
Many more young people live alone, often away from family
or friends because of work or college. The pressures of life
may not leave enough time to make good relationships.

Modern culture, in TV, films and books, tells us that the
only meaningful relationship is a sexual or romantic one.
It isn't true, but we believe it.

If we do not have such a relationship, we feel a failure. Or
we try to find meaning in these relationships, but often fail.
And if these relationships are private and closed, leaving no
room for other friendships, then when they end, we have no
'real', 'ordinary' friends to turn to.

"Loneliness is universal. I get a lot of patients, especially
those who haven't married, who have a strong feeling of not
being part of 'family', of not having connected. They feel
unfulfilled, that they don't belong, and are not caught up in
what is thought 'normal'."-- Dr.Chris Andrew.

Surprisingly, it is not only the quiet, shy, people, who may
feel loneliness. It can also be the sort of person who is the
'life and soul of the party' - always joking, laughing, apparently
out-going, yet afraid to really connect with others - holding
other people away at arm's length. They may seem to have
lots of friends, but inside they are hurting. These people have
often been damaged as children by sexual or emotional abuse.

Here are some ideas to think about:

Remember, you are not the only one to feel this way - perhaps
25% of the people around you feel the same. So make the first
step!

Do you have an interest or hobby? Find a group or society
with this interest and join it.

Don't look for the answer to loneliness in a sexual relationship.

Many people, especially girls, move from one quick sexual
relationship to another, desperate to find closeness and
meaning. The sort of people they find usually only want
the sex part of the relationship, and do not offer more in
return.

Even in a stable long-term relationship or marriage,
you should still not expect your partner to meet all of
your emotional needs. They should certainly meet many
of your needs, because your partner should be your best
friend. But you should also have a network of good
relationships with other friends, giving and taking help
and support.

It can be easy to live out our lives through the imaginary
relationships in films, TV, books, or even arm-length
relationships on the Internet. These aren't real! TV and
film characters do not act and talk like real people! It is
an imaginary world, very different from the real one. Live
in the real world!

To be wanted and needed, is a big answer to loneliness.
Is there any way you can help other people? Can you
volunteer to do something? Hospital visiting, visiting old
people, assist an advice centre, an inner city help program
- the list is endless. Or just learn to be a listening person
who can understand how other people feel, and help them.
In helping other people, we find friends and lose loneliness!

Don't wait for someone to phone (or write/email) you -
you contact them. And if they seem too busy, it doesn't mean
they are rejecting you. Try another time!

Don't drink too much - it may take away feelings of
loneliness for a few hours, but does not answer the real
problem. You may feel separated from other people
because of wrong things that others have done or said
to you, or things that you have done or said to others.
These things build a wall between us. Look for a way to
become friends again. Don't be too proud to say sorry,
even if you feel it was mostly the other person's fault!

if you have been hurt as a child through sexual or
emotional abuse, or difficult relationships with parents,
don't bury those feelings. It is possible to find victory over
these hurts.

We were created to be social humans. We need people.
"It is not good for man to be alone" is a key statement from
one of the earliest surviving historical writings. Yet it goes
right to the centre of our human need today!

Our relationships with each other are easily damaged
and spoilt, because of our own wrong actions and selfish
behaviour, which so often we cannot even see. But beyond
these relationships, there is another deeper relationship
which has been damaged. It is this - that God - the maker
of the whole world - is a loving person, who desperately
wants a relationship with you! It may be unbelievable, but
it is true. God is not a power, a force, a feeling, or a distant
angry ruler - He is a person, who wants to be a 'friend who
stays closer than a brother'. He is the ultimate Family, the
real Lover, the special Friend. What is more, He can give us
a new power inside, to handle life, relationships and problems..

Courtesy : Online counselling

Coping with Anger..(?)(!)

2006-11-20T21:32:00.000+05:30

Anger is a negative Vritti or whirlpool in the
mind-lake.It is born of ignorance. It is a strong
emotion, excited by a real or fancied injury and
involving a desire for retaliation.

Anger is a positive and constructive aid to survival.
It provides us with boosts of both physical and emotional
energy when we are in need of protection and healing.
Not only can anger help us to cope with threat, hurt,
frustration and violation but if it is channelled carefully
it can help us to find courage to recognise and assert our
own rights, make changes in our lives, and be creative.

However, many of us find it difficult to express our
anger openly,directly and assertively. We fear our anger
will get out of control and take over our minds, that we
will lose the respect of others or that we might hurt
someone. We tell ourselves that anger is best kept hidden.
Consequently we may end up harming ourselves.

Sometimes we can be angry without recognising that we are
angry. Sometimes we do not recognise fully what it is we
are angry about. Sometimes we can be filled with a consuming
anger we do not know how to cope with. Sometimes we may forget
that any efforts we make to cope and survive with our anger and
pain are worthy of respect and this can make us feel more angry.

Immediate strategies for coping with angry feelings -
• Breathing deeply.Try yoga or some deep breathing techniques.
• Dancing, fast walking, running or aerobics, etc, will help to calm you down.
• Screw your face up a few times and feel the muscles relax.
• You could also try screaming and shouting abuse at an empty chair.
• Focus intently on a work activity or household chore.

Long term strategies for coping with angry feelings -
Use positive self-talk - • I cannot change the past but I can
change how I feel about it. • My self-esteem can survive without
the approval of everyone.

If you are angry with someone, if possible confront them.
Try to start positively. Be direct. Acknowledge your responsibility.
Avoid putting yourself down. Talk to someone else you think will
listen. If there is no-one to talk to, even shouting at an empty
space can be calming and healing.

Some techniques to come out of anger..

Take time out
Lie down and listen to some pleasant relaxing music.
Perhaps go for a walk to clam yourself.
Meditate
Concentrating on your breathing or a specific word or mantra
will take your mind off obsessive thoughts and into stillness.
Writing
Writing down your feelings in a journal, letter or poem can be
an effective way of expressing and discharging feelings.

Regards

Sowmya

A thought of Chaitanya...!!

2006-11-18T08:46:00.000+05:30

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Way to Permenant Joy

Attaining permenant joy or happiness remains the biggest
challenge for humans. For centuries we are following many
sets of rules- we call it philosophy,science, cults, religions,
race..whatever ! That have not helped overcome the problem.

So What is the way out?It's simple.

Live every second of your life in Bliss.It's easier said than done.
so here's how to do it in practicle life :

Smile !

Make This moment of life happy. Then see that next moment
will be similar. You can connect this happy state of mind with
your breating. Everytime you breath in, believe in mind that you
are taking in the Happiness inside. Then ensure it for the next
moment.. then next.GO on.

life is just a string of moments. Make as many of them happy as you
can. That is the happy life.You may not succed in it at one go. You
may have taken tens of thousands of breaths in your life without
happiness. body won't change that all of a sudden. but keep on
practising, for as many time as possible, for as long at a strech as possible.

Courtesy : Chaitanya

Are we responsible ??..

2006-11-16T09:03:00.000+05:30

We are rapidly gaining a much better understanding
of the brain and how it operates. We are beginning to
see how our thought processes and actions are shaped
by activity in the brain.

This new knowledge is exciting, but presents us with
many challenges. And tools and therapies for use in medicine
or research could equally well be applied socially for other
uses. How are we going to manage these ethical quandaries?

If a lot of our behaviour is outside our conscious
control (or feels as if it is), can we always be held
responsible for our actions?

Our legal system (and many other aspects of society) are
based on the idea that we are ‘free agents’, able to decide
for ourselves how we behave.

But how much freedom do we actually have to control our
behaviour? Some brain responses are not under conscious
control. Sometimes, even when we think we are making a
conscious decision, our brain has already made an
unconscious one. Or our conscious and unconscious
wrestle for control of our actions.

Our genetic inheritance will affect our brain and behaviour,
as will the environment we experience in the womb, and the
way we are brought up. By the time we are adults, our scope
to behave in any way we choose is significantly reduced.
On the other hand, genetic or neuroscientific determinism
– that we are ‘born’ or ‘hard-wired’ to behave in a particular
way – can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The prefrontal
cortex, the ‘thinking brain’, still has plenty of scope to shape
our actions.

Legally, courts are more lenient if a defendant can prove
‘diminished responsibility’. Sentencing will also depend
to some extent on an assessment of a defendant’s mental
health. So far, there has been little evidence that judges are
willing to consider biological susceptibilities as a justifiable
defence. As we discover more about the links between brain
and behaviour, it is likely that this will become a more
common issue.

Courtesy : Big Picture of thinking - issue 4 september 2004

Personal power....

2006-11-14T15:32:00.000+05:30

To solve problems effectively you must do the following.

1. Manage your emotional state-avoid “overwhelm.”
Learn to associate massive pain to the state of being
overwhelmed; associate pleasure to solving the problem.

2. Write the problem on paper. Spend no more than 20%
of the time defining it-80% of the time should be spent
on the solution.

3. Come up with your best plan for handling the challenge
and act upon it as quickly as possible.

4. Notice what you’re getting from your current actions.

5. If what you’re doing isn’t working, change your approach.
Develop more flexibility by asking yourself, What would
happen if…

6. Find role models and get their answers.

7. Change your beliefs about what problems are-call them
challenges-they are opportunities for you to grow.

Use the five problem-solving questions to put yourself
in a positive, resourceful state for finding effective solutions.

THE PROBLEM-SOLVING QUESTIONS :

1. What is great about this problem?
2. What is not perfect yet?
3. What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
4. What am I willing to no longer do in order to make it
the way I want it?
5. How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to
make it the way I want it?

courtesy : Personal power - Anthony Robbins

How to Find Your Child's Genius..!

2006-11-14T10:14:00.000+05:30

To discover your children's genius you must first
Find out how they like to learn and why they will
Learn something.

For example, I did not learn to swim because I
did not want to learn to swim. I learned to swim
because I wanted to surf. If not for surfing, I had
no interest in learning to swim, and forcing me to
learn only made me hate swimming even more.
Instead of starting me in the shallow end with all
the kids, I was much happier jumping in the deep
end and learning to survive. The same is true with
learning to read financial statements. I did not learn
accounting because I wanted to be an accountant. I
learned basic accounting because I wanted to be rich.
If you think my swim strokes are ugly, you should see
My accounting.

Instead of forcing me to conform and follow the
traditional ways of learning, this is the way of
encouragement to "Jump in the deep end and swim
for my life."

Everyone has their own learning style. People learn
in more traditional ways. Many people go to school,
enjoy the classroom, and enjoy following a prearranged
curriculum.

Many like knowing that at the end of the curriculum
they will get a reward. They like the idea of knowing
that they will get a passing grade or a degree for their
efforts. As I said, they like the certainty of the reward
at the end of the program. Just as my friend Willy did
well at swimming because he loved swimming, many
people do well in school because they like school.

A key to people's success in life is finding out how they
learn best and ensuring that they are in an environment
that allows them to continue learning in the ways they
learn best. The problem is, finding out exactly how we
learn and what our natural gifts are is often a hit-and
miss process. Many people never find out their gifts. Once
they leave school, they get jobs, and then they cannot
continue the personal discovery process owing to financial
or family reasons.

Courtesy: Rich kid, smart kid - Robert T. Kiyosaki with
Sharon L. Lechter, C.P.A

Empathy - feel someone within you..!

2006-11-10T21:49:00.000+05:30

Empathy is about listening and understanding
feelings. It is a ability to communicate and lead
by understanding Other’s thoughts, views and
feelings.

No two people share the same experiences, thoughts
or emotions. In order to truly understand the other,
we need to understand his/her experiences, thoughts
emotions as well as words and outward Behaviours.

Sharpening our empathy skills will lead to a better
personal and work Relationships, higher credibility,
more clarity in our communication.

When empathy is highly developed, human beings
become more human. With the ability of empathize,
we humans can show greater sensitivity Towards others.
Empathy helps us to understand from a position within
Ourselves. It heightens our sense of acceptance as a person.

True empathy is the ability to develop trust and
openness with others. Empathy is more than
understanding. We can only understand when we
Listen - not only to the words, but to the feelings
being expressed. Empathy Means that we understand
not only the feeling being expressed. But the Ideas and
the feelings go with the words.

When we are empathetic, we are sensitive to the
feelings being shown. Tune In to others and try to
understand their needs and wants. When someone
asks For help, try to be sensitive to what is not being
said as well as to the person’s actual words.

So Try to be empathetic and taste the natural glow
of others within you.

Regards

Sowmya

Why Men need space...??

2006-11-07T20:35:00.000+05:30

The love between the Men and Women was
magical. They delighted in being together, doing things
together, and sharing together. Though from different
worlds, they reveled in their differences. They spent months
learning about each other, exploring and appreciating their
different needs, preferences, and behavior patterns. For years
they lived together in love and harmony.

Then they decided to fly to Earth. In the beginning everything
was wonderful and beautiful. But the effects of Earth's atmosphere
took hold, and one morning everyone woke up with a peculiar
kind of amnesiaselective amnesia!

Both the Martians and Venusians forgot that they were from
different planets and were supposed to be different. In one
morning everything they had learned about their differences
was erased from their memory. And since that day men and
women have been in conflict.

Men are like rubber bands. When they pull away,
they can stretch only so far before they come springing
back. A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to
understand the male intimacy cycle.

This cycle involves getting close, pulling away,
and then getting close again. Most women are surprised
to realize that even when a man loves a woman,
periodically he needs to pull away before he can get
closer. Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away.
It is not a decision or choice. It just happens.
It is neither his fault nor her fault. It is a natural cycle.

Women misinterpret a man's pulling away because
generally a woman pulls away for different reasons.
She pulls back when she doesn't trust him to understand
her feelings, when she has been hurt and is afraid of being
hurt again, or when he has done something wrong and
disappointed her.

Certainly a man may pull away for the same reasons,
but he will also pull away even if she has done nothing
wrong. He may love and trust her; and then suddenly he
begins to pull away. Like a stretched rubber band, he will
distance himself and then come back all on his own.

A man pulls away to fulfill his need for independence or
autonomy. When he has fully stretched away, then instantly
he will come springing back. When he has fully separated,
then suddenly he will feel his need for love and intimacy
again. Automatically he will he more motivated to give his
love and receive the love he needs. When a man springs
back, he picks up the relationship at whatever degree of
intimacy it was when he stretched away. He doesn't feel
any need for a period of getting reacquainted again.

Courtesy : Men are from Mars Women are from Venus - John Gray

A Question to Osho..

2006-11-04T08:55:00.000+05:30

Question : I’m scared of aloneness. I’m not in a relationship right now, a fact which I like and simultaneously I don’t like.

That time when you will be able to be alone will also come,
but that time has not come yet. So like or dislike it, you will have
to be with somebody.

Aloneness is possible only when one is really mature, and nothing
can be done for that maturity immediately. Maturity comes by and
by, when you live with people and you suffer and you enjoy also.

Through so many experiences of relationship, one day it dawns in
one’s consciousness that one is enough alone, that there is no need
to depend on others, that aloneness is not a kind of negative space
but a deep fulfillment, that aloneness is beautiful that there is
benediction in it. But that comes only after you have passed
through many hells and purgatories...then only. You cannot
jump to heaven; the way to heaven goes through hell. You have
to pass through hell; that is the school — it trains you for heaven.
So don’t be in a hurry; otherwise you will be in misery.It is better
to be related and miserable than to be miserable and alone.
That is the only choice right now: miserable alone or miserable
together.

But when you are miserable together it is better; at least you can
throw the responsibility on the other!When you are absolutely alone,
where to throw the responsibility? You carry the whole burden...not
even somebody to share it! When you are miserable with somebody
you can find causes, explanations why the misery is there. When you
are alone there is no reason and no cause, so the mind feels very
very noccupied and the misery looks so on-going, eternal.Right
now choose that misery, the other kind, that people call relationship.
It is a necessary evil to pass through. And one day you will be
able to pass beyond it but right now the moment has not come.

When it has come you will not feel misery at all in being alone,
you will feel on top of the world. There is no joy compared to
that, no relationship can bring that joy. A relationship always
remains a mixed phenomenon: a few moments of joy and
many more of misery. That is the cost one has to pay for those
few moments of joy.But if you are alone right now, even those
few moments will not be there; it will be just misery and misery
and one feels monotonous. When you are with somebody,
at least misery changes colors, shapes, forms. In the morning
it was one thing, in the evening it is something else. It is misery
all the same (chuckling) but it changes! So you find some
poor fellow. Start looking!

The Ship...which you always like to sail...

2006-10-27T20:55:00.000+05:30

Ten Power Strategies for keeping your relationships strong:

1. Commit. Do you want to view your partner lovingly?
Are you for your partner or against your partner? Too many
people in relationships are enemies. They put a negative
spin on each other, just as enemies do. If you decide you want
to love your partner, you can intentionally view him or her lovingly.

2. Deliver effectively. You have a choice every time you say
something to your partner. You can say something that will
either nurture the relationship or tear it down. Say what
you mean, but don’t say it mean.

3. Foster collaboration. In a happy marriage, couples make
at least three times as many positive statements to and about
each other and their relationship (“We laugh a lot”) as opposed
to negative ones (“We never have fun”). Make daily deposits to
your relationship’s emotional bank account.

4. Create trust. Trust is at the foundation of any relationship.
We are more likely to have good relationships and succeed in
whatever we do when our relationships are based on trust.

5. Speak from the heart. In love relationships, feelings are
the voice of the heart. Appealing to your partner’s emotions works
more effectively than rational discourse. Much of what matters
in love depends upon our feelings.

6. Argue well. Successful conflict resolution includes: owning
your part in a conflict; using humor; stroking your partner with
a caring remark (“I know that this is hard for you”); making it
clear you’re on common ground (“This is our problem”);
backing down (it sometimes pays to yield); and being skillful
and receptive to compromise.

7. Be a model for your children. Some couples get mired
in repetitive fights to which their children bear witness; others may
even stop talking; other couples draw their children into their
differences and form a triangle. Successful couples do not draw
their children into adult issues as referees, judges, targets, or in
any other biased role.

8. Assess regularly. Reflect on how you’re doing. Awareness is
the first step in healing. Knowing how you are doing keeps you on
track. Feedback to each other is an early warning system to stem
negative patterns.

9. Prevent relapse. The emotional brain learns new patterns
over months. Over-learning, practicing a new habit beyond the
point where you can do it well, greatly reduces the odds that you
will revert to the old habit under pressure. Practice being a
sensitive and caring partner every day.

10. Seek help early. Having chronic relationship problems?
Early intervention is less painful and more effective than
intervention in a relationship that has been worn down over
a long period. Take action. Seek help early. Applying the 10
Power Strategies brings a huge return on investment. Ignoring
emotional competency puts you at greater risk for a shattered
home life and an artificial career ceiling.

Courtesy :Joel Block, Ph.D. is a psychologist and author of
"Making It Work When You Work a Lot"

Present is a Present..!!

2006-10-22T22:57:00.000+05:30

living in the past. Why we do that. We go back to the past at the the present moment and we like to have the delicious moment of journey we have arrived from.

Construct the future. Why we do this.. We like to shape our further process of what we do in life in a better way, by learning and observing from the environment.

Why we all stick to these two things mostly…?

By going back in time, is to reflect on the lessons events have taught you and to grow in wisdom and to savor the precious memories that you were blessed enough to experience well. So the present which holds the past memories nourishes you than the present moment when it happened.

if your intention - in going back in time – nourishes you , then its good. But if your intention and reason to go back into your past is to dwell on bad things and to worry over things you cannot change and to rehash painful times, then it's an unhealthy act.

But thoughts are not similar always. The person’s mind and the ideas that he has it when he is thinking , depends upon how he practiced himself looking things in optimistic or pessimistic ways. Those thoughts induce to have the pleasure or sorrowful moments in the present.

Being in the present, Construct the future may help the person to do better than what we he did in the past. and it also helps the person to have a fantasy about living and it those fantasies nourishes him and he is also planning to achieve certain goals by construct the future in the present moment.

After all humans are pleasure seeking animals. We are ready to accept the incidents and its outcome or feedback, if they are giving us delicious moments. But we are also fighting for the survival. So worries and painful moments are envitable.

How to come out of these…

“Live in the now" .. "Enjoy the moment."
So that you can adopt that moment whatever it gives you. Acceptance is a beautiful term, which can be feel only in the present state. Now..where are those worries, you have to worry for where your worries have gone.lol.

Regards
Sowmya

Welcome the Failures..!!

2006-10-13T20:04:00.000+05:30

You might be astonished to read this title , welcome the failures.

Why?.. why I should welcome the failures , while I am towards my success to achieve something in my life. Is this a right phrase…? Let us share..

“Life is Difficult”

Once we understand and accept this truth, life is no longer difficult. Because the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.

Most people do not fully accept that life is difficult. Instead they moan about the enormity of their problems, burdens, and difficulties as if life should be easy. They voice their belief that their difficulties represent a unique affliction that has been visited upon them.

Life is a series of problems. Do we want to moan about them or solve them?

Confronting and solving problems can be painful. Indeed, because of the pain that conflicts engender in us, we call them problems. And since life poses endless problems, life is always difficult , full of pain as well as joy. Yet it is in meeting and solving problems that life has its meaning.

Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure. Problems call forth and create our courage and our wisdom. When we encourage the growth of our spirit, we boost our capacity to solve problems. It is through the pain of confronting and resolving problems that we learn.

As Ben Franklin said, “Those things that hurt, instruct.” For this reason, wise people learn to welcome problems.

Fearing the pain involved, we avoid problems. We procrastinate, hoping that they will go away. We try to get out of them. The tendency to avoid the emotional suffering inherent in problems is the primary basis of mental illness.

Some of us will go to extraordinary lengths to avoid our problems and the suffering they cause, trying to find an easy way out, building elaborate fantasies to the exclusion of reality. But, the substitute ultimately becomes more painful than the legitimate suffering it was designed to avoid.

When we avoid dealing with problems, we also avoid the growth. Let us learn the need for suffering and the need to face problems directly and to experience the pain involved.

Discipline is the tool we require to solve life’s problems. Without discipline, we can solve nothing When we teach ourselves and our children discipline, we are learning how to suffer and also how to grow.

Welcome the failures to step into the stone of success.

Regards
Sowmya

Happiness and Life are not two different words..(?)(!)

2006-10-12T21:49:00.000+05:30

I often ask the question, “What do you want from life?”
The answers people give are vague. Few people can say, “I want these things, for these reasons, and this is how I intend to achieve them.” These people are living life passionately and enthusiastically. They rarely complain or talk negatively about others or refer to happiness as a future event.

So what do they have that most people don’t? They know what they want.

Do you know what you want from life?
What are your dreams?

Think about it. Ponder it, and list those people, places, things, and experiences that you believe will make you happy. We all have a natural thirst for happiness, and we do the things we do because we believe they will make us happy.

We know the things that make us happy, we just don’t do them. Why? We are too busy trying to be happy.
We are too busy doing just about everything, that means just about nothing, to just about nobody, and will mean even less to anyone 100 years from now!

Most people are not thriving; most people are just surviving, just getting by, just hanging on. What’s the problem? What’s missing? What is it that we need that we don’t have? Some would say that it’s a lack of commitment, but there is a greater void—a great purposelessness.

Many people have lost any sense of the meaning and purpose of life; and without understanding their own purpose, they have no true commitment. Whether that commitment is to marriage, family, study, work, God, relationships, or the simple resolutions of our lives, it is hard to fulfill without a clear understanding of our purpose.

Once I thought that if I could change my surroundings, I would be happier. Discovering my purpose has caused me to realize that happiness is an inside-out job. When I am focused on becoming the best version of myself, I am happy. Only the pursuit of my essential purpose satisfies.

Think about this..!!

Regards
Sowmya

Hi.. Friends..!

2006-10-12T21:20:00.000+05:30

"All it takes is one match to light a forest fire."
I would like to share some of my thoughts and my views about living in this blog.
Sharing is a great experience, it boost up both the giver and the receiver.

Humans actually crave novelty and change. Yet most of us stay in the safe harbor of the known. We think that we'll be happier and more secure in the familiar world of the known. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Avoiding change and growth is the most dangerous place to be as a human. Yes it is confusing to move away from the familiar. Yes it is hard to deal with change. Yet, that is where the opportunity lives. That is where growth lives. That is where our best selves live.

regards

sowmya